FYI on references

[Jez UaBriain]

Hey guys, you probably should think some about this. I was asked for a reference earlier. And the provider gave me a name( just your first name, no last name) and a phone number. (This is all you gave her, also). I don’t keep your number unless you want me too. So when she gave me your name and your number, well, it was not easy to give you a reference.

The reality is, I probably saw a dozen Bill’s last year. Or a dozen Steve’s, etc. And I like to share my good clients with my sisters. But how can we give a good reference based on your first name and your phone number. Add some distance by time and ?

So guys , I’d like some feed back here

Edited May 13, 2014 by Jez UaBriain
running from the grammar police!

[EuropeanMonger]

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[Jez UaBriain]

What about Mike's? That's a pretty unique and non-popular name, no?

As a client, and this is me, if I see a girl and it's one-and-done, she's not a reference for me. I don't think guys can realistically expect a girl they saw once 6 months ago to pick them out of a lineup unless there was something real unique about said guy like a 12" pecker or a third testicle or enjoyed a double fisting while getting head. Maybe I'm too hard on myself but that's just my opinion.

And given this board's (in particular) general sentiment about personal info, I think you're on your own Jez. Now if the girl I've seen 6-12 times over the past year doesn't know how to reply when another girl calls and asks, "hey, can you vouch for AuroraMike" then I have other issues and clearly need to find a new regular.

AuroraMike, good and valid points. But, you really can't be amazed by this. Many guys don't use their board persona's when they call. We only find out who they are on these forums when we see them.

[EuropeanMonger]

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[DontEvenTrip]

I completely agree Jez. First, my memory SUCKS It's comparable to early onset of dementia at times LOL. Second, I have never been good with names - faces I recall but names, I am lucky to remember my own. So what I suggest to my friends who want to use me as their reference down the road with another gal is to provide her with a tad bit more info to help me be sure I have actually met him. For example, perhaps stating where we met (cross streets or name of hotel, etc.) and approx when that was. Any information that would help "ring my bell" is always better than only a name and #. xoxoo

[Nusa]

I completely agree Jez. First, my memory SUCKS It's comparable to early onset of dementia at times LOL. Second, I have never been good with names - faces I recall but names, I am lucky to remember my own. So what I suggest to my friends who want to use me as their reference down the road with another gal is to provide her with a tad bit more info to help me be sure I have actually met him. For example, perhaps stating where we met (cross streets or name of hotel, etc.) and approx when that was. Any information that would help "ring my bell" is always better than only a name and #. xoxoo

One of the ways a clown persona can help.

[Bit Banger]

I've knew a gal who gave out a code word which she changed each month. When asked for a reference, she asked for the code word & when you saw her. The only problem was that the little head keeps spitting out his brains & has difficulty remembering anything

It's generally considered polite to contact the individual you're requesting to be your reference BEFORE you provide their contact information to a 3rd party. This gives you a chance to refresh their memory & gives them a heads-up on the request. This is true in general, not just this industry.

Like several have said, 'one & done' does not make good reference material. It helps to be a memorable individual ("I'm the one who brought you that candlestick dildo." for example).

And here's my usual plug for P411. Not only do you request the reference shortly after seeing a YL, but you (& anyone looking at your profile) has a list of providers who vouch for you.

[Guest]

It's generally considered polite to contact the individual you're requesting to be your reference BEFORE you provide their contact information to a 3rd party. This gives you a chance to refresh their memory & gives them a heads-up on the request. This is true in general, not just this industry.

^^THIS^^

However, since most guys do not do this I always ask the guy when he is giving me a reference HOW WOULD SHE REMEMBER YOU? Something you talked about, a tattoo, etc.

I agree with Jez, I do not save numbers either unless well they see me on a regular basis. I constantly tells girls who call me, can you call him back and ask him how I would remember him. I do this for a number of reasons.....

1. The person calling or e mailing could be a wife or girlfriend

2. Could be LE trying to get info (clients privacy is very important)

3.I am far more likely to remember someone by memory of something shared than a phone number.

4. People LIE, tons of people have used me as a reference that have never seen me. By asking for info about our session it makes the person either make up something, OR if they really saw me they easily give the info required.

5. People change their phone number. Maybe I saw the guy, but his number changed, how am I supposed to give a reference.

I do not mind giving references, however I am not going to say I saw someone just because I have a phone number. I value my clients privacy. This is where P411 is an excellent work around.

[Audrey Astor]

Yes Jez, that can be a problem with the Mikes, Jim's Steve's of the world. Sometimes I have had guys jog my memory by what we talked about.

A little off topic, but I think it is important for guys to be selective in who they choose to meet if they intend on using that girl for a reference. If you had to call 5 times, waited 3 days for an email reply etc, to set your appointment, the girl is most likely not a whole lot quicker in giving references. If she is in school, has civi job, travels a lot etc, keep that in mind. You are more than likely not going to get a same day reference. And... sadly... there are some that will never call back for whatever reason. I do. Whether the girl likes me, had returned my calls in the past or whatever. What if that is her only call this week? What if my client really had his heart set on her? The girls who answer their calls, reply to messages etc, seem to be the ones the guy uses over and over; even though he has since seen 8 other ladies. lol:cool:

Good point Jez!

[Nightrain]

Do something like P411. Keep the first name appended by the last four of the hobby phone #. For example, mine would be Joe9097.

Edited May 13, 2014 by Nightrain
whimsy