"Born Again" Newbie?

[bd5671]

Hello one and all! Here is my dilemma. I am an infrequent partaker of the fleshly pursuits, albeit one lovely lady who has since retired, and who was my ATF (if one can have an ATF after so few dalliances). Alas, since my lady has gone on to better things, and I have no reference(s) for verification to see another courtesan, and no idea how to proceed. When I was in a relationship, I found little reason to pursue other women. When that relationship soured, and I searched for another female to excise my human desires, I found my lovely companion quite by accident, on another internet venue. After a few emails and phone calls, we met and I was smitten. I saw her many times over the years, as a client and a friend, and our friendship grew quickly. She became my sounding board, and I hers, and she helped me through a difficult time in my life, with her kind words and loving friendship. I faced a serious medical problem, that thankfully has resolved itself successfully, and she was always there, to support and comfort me. Lest one think that this relationship was one of client and provider only, we knew our time together was special and not one generated by monetary gains only. When she chose to leave the life she had known, I could only wish her well, with a heavy heart, as I knew that our friendship would be ending too. No ties to the past could remain, as her break had to be clean, and her decision to be final. But I digress...

How does one venture back into the world of potential client to another adult services provider, without references? I have seen many lovely ladies post on this board, and seen their postings for companionship here and on other venues, but I am unsure how to begin the process to contact them. Without letters of approval and due diligence from other ladies in this business, how might I pursue these ladies and partake of the baser weaknesses of the human condition? Can someone please help this poor knight of the realm persuade his lady fair to let me meet and court her, so as to be in good standing, and pass her tests of manhood and chivalry? I shall await thy reply...

[MAG]

Hello one and all! Here is my dilemma. I am an infrequent partaker of the fleshly pursuits, albeit one lovely lady who has since retired, and who was my ATF (if one can have an ATF after so few dalliances). Alas, since my lady has gone on to better things, and I have no reference(s) for verification to see another courtesan, and no idea how to proceed. When I was in a relationship, I found little reason to pursue other women. When that relationship soured, and I searched for another female to excise my human desires, I found my lovely companion quite by accident, on another internet venue. After a few emails and phone calls, we met and I was smitten. I saw her many times over the years, as a client and a friend, and our friendship grew quickly. She became my sounding board, and I hers, and she helped me through a difficult time in my life, with her kind words and loving friendship. I faced a serious medical problem, that thankfully has resolved itself successfully, and she was always there, to support and comfort me. Lest one think that this relationship was one of client and provider only, we knew our time together was special and not one generated by monetary gains only. When she chose to leave the life she had known, I could only wish her well, with a heavy heart, as I knew that our friendship would be ending too. No ties to the past could remain, as her break had to be clean, and her decision to be final. But I digress...

How does one venture back into the world of potential client to another adult services provider, without references? I have seen many lovely ladies post on this board, and seen their postings for companionship here and on other venues, but I am unsure how to begin the process to contact them. Without letters of approval and due diligence from other ladies in this business, how might I pursue these ladies and partake of the baser weaknesses of the human condition? Can someone please help this poor knight of the realm persuade his lady fair to let me meet and court her, so as to be in good standing, and pass her tests of manhood and chivalry? I shall await thy reply...

Cribb notes version:

I have no references (boo hoo) and I didn't bother to search the forum. Rescue my lazy (poetic) ass.

Quick answer:

Browse ads. Pick up phone. Dial. Say "I have no references. Will you see me?"

[pfunk]

Cribb notes version:

I have no references (boo hoo) and I didn't bother to search the forum. Rescue my lazy (poetic) ass.

Quick answer:

Browse ads. Pick up phone. Dial. Say "I have no references. Will you see me?"

Even though it's an unnecessarily rude response, the words in bold are a good recommendation, in my opinion.

Best of luck!

[Guest]

Peruse the P411 ads and look for "Newbie Friendly"

[Guest]

A lot of ladies offer alternative and discreet ways to screen you. When calling, simply let them know you used to see a provider who has retired but that you are willing to go through her screening methods. Should be painless as long as you stick to the well reviewed ladies. Happy hunting!

[Audrey Astor]

+1 What Melissa says.

Also some of the ladies have a way to contact them through their websites to initiate the process if you are feeling a little shy. Good luck, and hope you find a new ATF. Have fun!

[FuriousInch]

You might want to plan ahead and also look for ladies that are willing to provide references after you see them. That should help in your future endeavors.

Also keep in mind that it will take time to develop the kind of rapport you enjoyed with your previous friend, so you need to recalibrate your expectations for the first few visits.

[pitbull]

Cribb notes version:

I have no references (boo hoo) and I didn't bother to search the forum. Rescue my lazy (poetic) ass.

Quick answer:

Browse ads. Pick up phone. Dial. Say "I have no references. Will you see me?"

And then repeat this process. So many say "never give out any personal information," but 98% of well-reviewed ladies will make a quick verification with you're info and you're in. The trick is to avoid the other bat-shit crazy 2% who will completely ruin your life.

[bd5671]

To all those you responded to my plight, thank you. Most of your replies were very informational and kind, although some were a bit curt. For those who had no appreciation for my prose, I am sorry. I am a bit of a romantic, and sometimes the words carry me away. I stand by my convictions and I shall not be deterred or dissuaded. I shall begin my quest, and I hope to recapture a little of my youth as well as a bit of my exuberance for love and romance. Man does not live by sex alone; he requires a capture of the heart as well...

[pitbull]

To all those you responded to my plight, thank you. Most of your replies were very informational and kind, although some were a bit curt. For those who had no appreciation for my prose, I am sorry. I am a bit of a romantic, and sometimes the words carry me away. I stand by my convictions and I shall not be deterred or dissuaded. I shall begin my quest, and I hope to recapture a little of my youth as well as a bit of my exuberance for love and romance. Man does not live by sex alone; he requires a capture of the heart as well...

The problem is that the "capture of the heart" will not happen in the hobby. The capture of your wallet, however, will most certainly happen. I say this not to be snide, but you write that you are looking for "love and romance," and that means a REAL relationship, not one where you leave an envelope in plain sight. I agree that love, romance, and sex is best when it's all wrapped into one. But sometimes you just take one and leave out the other two.

[NaughtyNiceGuy]

You do know what board you are on, don't you?

[Guest Likenthrope]

The problem is that the "capture of the heart" will not happen in the hobby.

[bd5671]

i see by the cynics here that one does not mention the words "love" and "romance" here, without consequence. If your hourly pusuits of sex and satisfaction suffice for you, all the better for you. I, for one, prefer an hour of fantasy and delight; the journey is much more satisfying if the pursuit is real, even if pretended. Soft music, low lights and candles, a bottle of wine, and soothing, comforting companionship are what I seek, not wham, bam and thank you ma'am. I see here that I am among the few that understand that a few hours of bliss need not be preceded by the mundane exchange of words and monetary gains. Am I alone in this thought, or do my words fall deaf on the many who haunt these pages? Say it isn't so!

[Bit Banger]

It isn't so!

There are plenty of us here who favor the FANTASY of a romantic interlude.

But by the same token, most of us, M & F alike, try to keep a firm grip on reality, recognizing that true love seldom strikes in this environment. Those who let that reality slip (M & F) often burned - badly.

Think of the cynics as your pals looking out for your best interests.

[Guest Mr.Bubble]

.........I see here that I am among the few that understand that a few hours of bliss need not be preceded by the mundane exchange of words and monetary gains. Am I alone in this thought, or do my words fall deaf on the many who haunt these pages? Say it isn't so!

It isn't so!

There are plenty of us here who favor the FANTASY of a romantic interlude.

But by the same token, most of us, M & F alike, try to keep a firm grip on reality, recognizing that true love seldom strikes in this environment. Those who let that reality slip (M & F) often burned - badly.

Think of the cynics as your pals looking out for your best interests.

To the OP:

I Know where you are coming from. You are a "feeler," and your feelings do you credit. I'm a feeler, too. But in this business, you AND ONLY YOU are responsible for protecting your heart. Bit is absolutely correct in his response.

My advice: learn to accept and endure the stress of cognitive dissonance. If you can do this, you can have a bit of both worlds.

In psychology,cognitive dissonance is the excessive mental stress and discomfort experienced by an individual who holds two or more contradictory beliefs, ideas, or values at the same time.

When you begin to fall for one of these ladies, you are really falling for her "escort persona." To be honest, in real life she may be a total bitch, or her escort persona may be a mere shadow of how wonderful she really is. YOU WILL NEVER KNOW.

If you can understand this, and live with it, then it is ok to get caught up a little bit in the fantasy of romance. NEVER FORGET IT IS FANTASY.

If you can hold these two opposite beliefs at the same time, you'll be OK.

If you need a "reality check" then ask her to do something "off the clock" like have lunch or something. Her very predictable response will help you keep your feet well grounded.

[Guest Likenthrope]

To all those you responded to my plight, thank you. Most of your replies were very informational and kind, although some were a bit curt. For those who had no appreciation for my prose, I am sorry. I am a bit of a romantic, and sometimes the words carry me away. I stand by my convictions and I shall not be deterred or dissuaded. I shall begin my quest, and I hope to recapture a little of my youth as well as a bit of my exuberance for love and romance. Man does not live by sex alone; he requires a capture of the heart as well...

Careful, a shrewd provider will play at your fantasies and not only capture your heart, but completely drain your wallet. Once you're more effort than your worth, she'll drop you like a bad habit. Play out your fantasies all you like, but don't let your guard down.

[Bit Banger]

Careful, a shrewd provider will play at your fantasies and not only capture your heart, but completely drain your wallet. Once you're more effort than your worth, she'll drop you like a bad habit. Play out your fantasies all you like, but don't let your guard down.

How many remember Southern Boy? Exactly what happened to him.

[lola]

To all those you responded to my plight, thank you. Most of your replies were very informational and kind, although some were a bit curt. For those who had no appreciation for my prose, I am sorry. I am a bit of a romantic, and sometimes the words carry me away. I stand by my convictions and I shall not be deterred or dissuaded. I shall begin my quest, and I hope to recapture a little of my youth as well as a bit of my exuberance for love and romance. Man does not live by sex alone; he requires a capture of the heart as well...

i know exactly what you're talking about. Trust me, it's out there.. Don't sell yourself short or settle for less than what you want. I don't in this business.

[bd5671]

To the OP:

I Know where you are coming from. You are a "feeler," and your feelings do you credit. I'm a feeler, too. But in this business, you AND ONLY YOU are responsible for protecting your heart. Bit is absolutely correct in his response.

If you need a "reality check" then ask her to do something "off the clock" like have lunch or something. Her very predictable response will help you keep your feet well grounded.

I choose to disagree...My former lady fair had lunch a few times, without monetary exchange or need for it. We also shopped together, met "off the clock" as it were, and had a few "freebies" thrown in for good measure. A friend, yes, and a lover, certainly. I was married when we met, and now I am divorced, but not due to my "playing around". I only hoped to recapture some of what I had with my friend, if only to bask in the sunshine of her beauty and savor the time we spend together. Quality and not quantity is what I seek, and my wallet does not drain when my other head is thinking. I have learned to separate reality from fantasy. I guess those here who do not understand my plight, will never find the happiness I found from my previous relationship with my beautiful, funny, sexy friend. Alas, now I am done...

ps: Lola, I know of what you speak and I agree...

[Guest century2ride]

Interesting thread to say the least!

There is a lot of good advice here but you have to sort through it. However, I did notice in your responses to others that is was always about what you had a one point in your life and you want that again - a relationship with a provider of sorts.

Your initial question was in two parts - you had something great and enjoyed your time but she left and now you are wondering what to do? And the second part was how do you get back into seeing other ladies again - but this is tricky - since your message was mixed with not only getting back but also capturing what you had before! Gotta say - bad idea! she may be unique but few are in this for a relationship! It is about fun, fantasy and the fantastic! Glass of wine, conversation, maybe dinner a long good bye - but then done!

I think you need to ask yourself - what is it that you want? Because everyone that gave you advice - you went back to what once was - well that is over and gone! Until you put that behind you it will be difficult! I have made mistakes and learned along the way that the person you are seeing isn't your girlfriend! It is a fantastic fantasy at a point in time and you need to realize that (and love every minute of it - but then I am off track - since I had some great ATFs). Again - think about your own arguments and what you are saying in response to others - you are not listening.

Now to your original question - how do you get back? Well just tell the lady you have posts on TOB and are just getting back as someone else suggested. You also have to think do you have reviews for other ladies? Are you P411? Are you on other sites? Do you have reviews for other ladies? You have to realize that everyone - and I mean everyone - needs to feel safe and secure! They don't live in your fantasy world! And if you see someone - write a review and that will help you out! BTW - if someone doesn't want to see - move on!

I had to read through this post a second time - and between cognitive dissonance and whining (hate to say that) you can not dwell on the past - rather look forward to the future!

Anyway - get some fresh air - clear your head and go for a ride (or a jog) it will do wonders!

[frankenthaler91]

Sounds more like a Sugar Daddy/Baby relationship?

[bd5671]

For all of those who are interested, I did find another ASP and I must say the first experience was one to remember. Sexy, mature, intelligent, great body, wonderful attitude, and she set me a smilin'! I am almost afraid to say where and how I found her, as I don't want to share her with anyone. I definitely was not prepared for the experience, and afterward I couldn't believe I was so lucky to find her. She is on my very short list now, and I hope to have many happy and fruitful encounters in the future. Lucky me!

I guess that life has a way of working things out...

[MAG]

For all of those who are interested, I did find another ASP and I must say the first experience was one to remember. Sexy, mature, intelligent, great body, wonderful attitude, and she set me a smilin'! I am almost afraid to say where and how I found her, as I don't want to share her with anyone. I definitely was not prepared for the experience, and afterward I couldn't believe I was so lucky to find her. She is on my very short list now, and I hope to have many happy and fruitful encounters in the future. Lucky me!

I guess that life has a way of working things out...

Did you submit a review?

[MrReindeer-9515]

Did you submit a review?

He said he wanted to keep her to himself; and at any rate, I don't think you are entitled to ask that question.

[Happymon]

15 days from the pits to the pinnacle. Who says romance is dead!

[pfunk]

I am almost afraid to say where and how I found her, as I don't want to share her with anyone.

Good for you. I hope you have enough liquidity to make her a sugar baby!

[bd5671]

The continuing saga...

After almost two months of seeing this woman, I am in bliss. She asked for no donations after the second "date", we see each other regularly, and are dating (ie: dinner, movie, quiet night at her place, dessert, fun times, etc). She is the one who asked me out on a real date, and we text and talk all the time. The way we met was different, but the relationship is real.

I can accept her lifestyle, as she still sees others, but I think she has tapered off since we started dating, since she is always free to see me. She has a "regular" job on the outside, and I have come to know her as a person and a lover. This is no phony relationship, she is truly my friend and companion. I am so lucky to have found her,that I have given up hobbying after the second date. Why tempt fate?

If no one cares to know any more, I will close with this thought:

Never be afraid to take a chance with someone you meet.

You never know what will happen or where it will lead.

Lead with your heart, but think with the head on your shoulders.

There's a chance that happiness is just around the corner.

Mr. Moderator, you may close this thread now...

[gr8owl]

It isn't so!

There are plenty of us here who favor the FANTASY of a romantic interlude.

But by the same token, most of us, M & F alike, try to keep a firm grip on reality, recognizing that true love seldom strikes in this environment. Those who let that reality slip (M & F) often burned - badly.

Think of the cynics as your pals looking out for your best interests.

Short to the point and absolutely right on! Well done! And to especially the red AMEN!

[gr8owl]

As someone who has found in this "hobby" both true love and complete utter burning to the crisp I sincerely wish you well. Either can happen, sadly the latter more often. (so what is different elsewhere in the "real" world??)

[DaysGoBy2]

Hmm, let's see here: the OP had been in love with a hooker for a period of time....the hooker quits, OP is restless.... two moths later he is in love with another hooker!

Amazing story......