Posted December 4, 2013 How do you gentlemen feel about giving your real name to a provider to ensure her safety? 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted December 4, 2013 I pay $ to P411 so I can maintain my privacy and feel safe, while the provider can feel safe too. I wouldn't want to give my name unless I knew the provider well, which, of course, doesn't solve the your issue of wanting more info up front. This problem is largely solved by reliable references or P411 membership and OKs from known, local providers. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted December 4, 2013 I always give my real first name. Why would my last be needed? 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted December 4, 2013 I always give my real first name. Why would my last be needed? If you or the provider is not a member of p411, or you don't have verifiable and reliable references, or you don't have some other means of trusted verification, your last name could be used to help make sure you are who you say you are. Simply put, giving your last name and some basic information to a provider is less harmless than giving that information to a store clerk when you purchase something with a credit card. Even showing your ID to a provider is safer than showing it to buy cigarettes or beer; at least you know she's not scanning it or photographing it . The provider isn't asking for your name to stalk or blackmail you; she's asking you so she can verify your identity and make sure it is safe to meet with you. Contrary to popular belief among reluctant and inexperienced hobbyists, most reputable providers won't see you unless they can verify who you are. What you should really be asking yourself is, why wouldn't a provider need my last name? Any provider who doesn't care about verifying her clients is either a cop, working with a cop, a scam artist, or so indiscriminate that you shouldn't want to see her because something has to be wrong with her. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted December 4, 2013 The provider isn't asking for your name to stalk or blackmail you; she's asking you so she can verify your identity and make sure it is safe to meet with you. I completely agree. Any provider who doesn't care about verifying her clients is either a cop, working with a cop, a scam artist, or so indiscriminate that you shouldn't want to see her because something has to be wrong with her.is truw None of this is true, just guesswork on your part. Many people have alternative screening methods. Please don't make accusations without factual evidence. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted December 4, 2013 How do you gentlemen feel about giving your real name to a provider to ensure her safety? This has been covered a dozen times, if not more. Hookers always say "We just protecting ourselves". But guys, listen, once she has your real name, she has you by the short-hairs. Some will never use your personal info against you, but eventually one probably will. You'll do or say the wrong thing without realizing it, and she can do a lot of damage to your life. Do NOT give out personal information. There are plenty of hookers who will see you after you call them from an unblocked number. Guys who do not like to give personal information are protecting THEIR OWN safety, and they deserve no more criticism for that than hookers who won't schedule otherwise. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted December 4, 2013 If she's willing to lay down with me, spread her legs, give ma a fantasy, I'm willing to give her my name, first and last. I've done this for years without a problem. However, I generally try to screen for the better ASPs out there. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted December 4, 2013 If she's willing to lay down with me, spread her legs, give ma a fantasy, I'm willing to give her my name, first and last. I've done this for years without a problem. However, I generally try to screen for the better ASPs out there. +1 That being said, this is a glaring inequity of our situation. The ladies expect the guys to provide this information, but damn any guy who expects her to reciprocate. But if you think it's never a problem, just ask Mayor Hancock. He might have a different story to tell. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted December 4, 2013 The ladies expect the guys to provide this information, but damn any guy who expects her to reciprocate. You got that right. Whenever someone asks for my personal information (for her protection), I say that I'll give her mine if she gives me hers. And, it's for my protection as well. The loud-mouths around here will say "what do you need protection from??" I just respond "Eliot Spitzer". But if you think it's never a problem, just ask Mayor Hancock. He might have a different story to tell. Right again. For the guys who are OK with giving your real name, go for it. Do so at your own peril. If you aren't potentially vulnerable to a hooker-turned-psycho, more power to you. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted December 4, 2013 That being said, this is a glaring inequity of our situation. The ladies expect the guys to provide this information, but damn any guy who expects her to reciprocate. True. I use my real first name, and always have, but I've never once given my last name. Nor will I. If a lady were ever to ask me for that information, I'll be on my merry way. I've seen 20+ ladies over the years (I think), and never once have I had one ask for my last name. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted December 4, 2013 I know - responding to my own post .... I will confess that there have been a few providers over the years who have been allowed w/in the shield - they have become trusted friends. One even met my wife on a few occasions. I've met their friends & family. In those instances, we both know each others' particulars. But for an initial appointment, I'll use P411 (or Bit_Banger references) instead of my last name. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted December 4, 2013 Contrary to popular belief among reluctant and inexperienced hobbyists, most reputable providers won't see you unless they can verify who you are. What you should really be asking yourself is, why wouldn't a provider need my last name? Any provider who doesn't care about verifying her clients is either a cop, working with a cop, a scam artist, or so indiscriminate that you shouldn't want to see her because something has to be wrong with her. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted December 4, 2013 Sorry but this is NOT true at all!!! I have a 1000 different ways to screen a guy without getting his last name. I personally do not like crawling up a guys ass and try to make screening as discreet as possible. I am more interested in having a fun time as quickly as possible without all the hassles of digging into someones personal life. One of the key parts of this "Hobby" is discretion, and respecting their privacy, while still having fun and getting paid. Melissa, I fixed it for you -- I think. LOL. Otherwise, that's a fetish I've never experienced.... 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted December 4, 2013 Av8r you did and thank you! 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted December 4, 2013 If you or the provider is not a member of p411, or you don't have verifiable and reliable references, or you don't have some other means of trusted verification, your last name could be used to help make sure you are who you say you are. Simply put, giving your last name and some basic information to a provider is less harmless than giving that information to a store clerk when you purchase something with a credit card. Even showing your ID to a provider is safer than showing it to buy cigarettes or beer; at least you know she's not scanning it or photographing it . The provider isn't asking for your name to stalk or blackmail you; she's asking you so she can verify your identity and make sure it is safe to meet with you. Contrary to popular belief among reluctant and inexperienced hobbyists, most reputable providers won't see you unless they can verify who you are. What you should really be asking yourself is, why wouldn't a provider need my last name? Any provider who doesn't care about verifying her clients is either a cop, working with a cop, a scam artist, or so indiscriminate that you shouldn't want to see her because something has to be wrong with her. All of us have our own way of doing things and checking references, none of them are all right or all wrong- you just find what works for you. For me- I do not want to know their "real" last name, I want to know the name that he goes by so that I can check his references!!! Once in awhile, when I first meet someone they ask- Well did you google me? Do you know who I am? My answer: No, I want us to just be us. Pillow talk is when they share their life stories with me, and I'm amazed. If I would have looked to deep (like with what your talking about) I would have felt insignificant and backed out of the appointment thinking I know he's seen the most beautiful girls in the country and how could I possibly measure up... Anyways sister~ if that's what works for you then you stick to that. With time and experience you might find men with stature will not risk things like your asking them too. Much Love 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted December 4, 2013 ...With time and experience you might find men with stature will not risk things like your asking them too. Can we get an "Amen." 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted December 4, 2013 Most of the women who end up robbed, beaten, or some other unfortunate situation usually don't have a name for the man who did it and never have seen his ID. Better to not make yourself a victim with no reliable safety net. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted December 4, 2013 I always give the same name , just not my real one. Only way for both to be safe. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted December 4, 2013 I would never, ever, give out my real name to an ASP or to anyone else - P411 included. You just never know where that info could end up... 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted December 4, 2013 +1. And in response to VV above who reminds us that we give our full name to store clerks, I would remind her we are not engaging in an illegal act with them. We are not in danger of being outted by them, so this analogy is not valid. In my own 3 years in the hobby, I've had one occurrence when I felt threatened by a provider. I had seen a well-known local provider several times, who I knew was peculiar (ADHD?), but hot. I parked my car in front of her condo and met with her. She was upset with her dog continuously barking and our inability to enjoy time together. I was completely understanding but she was upset and thought I might write a bad review and said: "Remember, I have your license plate number". After that veiled threat, I would never see her again. Let's face it, providers and clients run the gamut of personalities, just like "regular people". Technology now allows for verification that the client and provider are safe, while maintaining anonymity and personal safety on both sides. I have shared info about my life and work with providers I've seen many times, as they have with me. I have found getting to know the providers at this level has been a real bonus for me, and hopefully enriching, in more ways than $, for the provider as well. I can hear regularly about a provider's children and they mine, without either one of us knowing the other's real name. I am interested in the provider as a person, but couldn't care about what they're real name is and, I assume, vice versa. To paraphrase Shakespeare (sorry in advance to the bard): A provider by any other name would smell as sweet:). And sweet they are! So praise anonymity! 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted December 5, 2013 Sorry but this is NOT true at all!!! I have a 1000 different ways to screen a guy without getting his last name. I personally do like crawling up a guys ass and try to make screening as discreet as possible. I am more interested in having a fun time as quickly as possible without all the hassles of digging into someones personal life. One of the key parts of this "Hobby" is discretion, and respecting their privacy, while still having fun and getting paid. Absolutely nailed it in two short sentences. Well done! 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted December 5, 2013 Most of the women who end up robbed, beaten, or some other unfortunate situation usually don't have a name for the man who did it and never have seen his ID. Better to not make yourself a victim with no reliable safety net. As someone else in this thread pointed out --- you do things your way, we'll do the same. If you have no trouble getting business using your method, then more power to you. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted December 5, 2013 Most of the women who end up robbed, beaten, or some other unfortunate situation usually don't have a name for the man who did it and never have seen his ID. Better to not make yourself a victim with no reliable safety net. . Actually, I'd be willing to bet that most of the bad situations you hear about are indeed perpetrated by men who's name the woman knew (that was terrible English methinks, sorry). Client vs provider violence is very rare.... whereas Boyfriend/wannabe Pimp vs Provider violence is common, unfortunately. This isn't to say that screening shouldn't be done, of course it should. There are bad guys out there, and it's important to protect yourself. While I'm a believer in discreet screening options, each person has their own comfort level and that's perfectly okay by me. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted December 5, 2013 Interesting timing of this post with the upcoming International Day to End Violence Against Sex Workers. For some reason, all of my clients have offered their real names to me upon first contact. Except for an out of towner, they all speak freely of where they live and work and their family lives. So I must attract the gentleman who seeks company for a variety of reasons. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted December 5, 2013 Never will do! Job is too sensitive and don't want it out there just in case. All it takes is one person to screw things up. Joined p411 for that and have reviews on here if that is not enough then I move on. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted December 5, 2013 Interesting timing of this post with the upcoming International Day to End Violence Against Sex Workers. For some reason, all of my clients have offered their real names to me upon first contact. Except for an out of towner, they all speak freely of where they live and work and their family lives. So I must attract the gentleman who seeks company for a variety of reasons. How do you *know* that you are getting real names? Are you checking their driver's licenses? 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted December 5, 2013 Client vs provider violence is very rare.... whereas Boyfriend/wannabe Pimp vs Provider violence is common, unfortunately. Bet you the statistics for pimp on john violence is up there as well. Maybe we should be more concerned about knowing the pimps real name. Jes sayin. BTW: You have my real name, I use an alias in real life. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted December 5, 2013 I've never had a problem giving a provider my real name. And although I've never been asked, I've even given out my last name to generate a warm and fuzzy when they see who I am. Ladies I see aren't looking to harm my rep, they just want to play safe......heck, so do I . I have no qualms with that. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted December 5, 2013 Never will do! Job is too sensitive and don't want it out there just in case. All it takes is one person to screw things up. Joined p411 for that and have reviews on here if that is not enough then I move on. Gotta agree with you on this one. I gave my full name once to visit a high end fantasy lady and regretted it with the mind fuck of all of the possibilities of being outted. P411 and first name only, with TOB stage name from now on. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted December 6, 2013 I NEVER give my real name. I use a carefully crafted pseudonym, wear a fake mustache, nose & glasses (insist they remain on the entire time), change cars 3 times on the way to the location, then park the last car in a random person's garage, pick a bus stop at least 4 miles away at random, take 5 buses, steal (er- borrow) a random stranger's cell phone for communication with the provider and then buy a complete set of clothes from the nearest second-hand shop. Then, and only then, do I knock on the door. Takes a little longer to prep for a session (only a day or two), but one can never be too careful. I have been toying with the idea of just sending some random homeless guy in my place - I think that might be more safe... For the guys who are OK with giving your real name, go for it. Do so at your own peril. If you aren't potentially vulnerable to a hooker-turned-psycho, more power to you. Meh. For those of us that don't have to actually check to see if we have a pair tucked away in our jeans this is NEVER a problem. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
