So...an honest question for everyone.

[Guest]

So yesterday I had a client make an appoinment with me. We emailed back and forth and I lett him know email would be my only way to communicate with him...we set up an appointment for 4:30...I sent my location to him at 3:42 and asked him to message me when he arrived. Well at 4:23 I get a message asking if we are still on, well I find this odd but respond yes we are assuming he is close enough away to make the 4:30 appointment..at 4:35 I message him stating I assumed something had come up and he wasn't coming...he then shows up at 5 and states I need to come to the lobby to explain why I would'nt be seeing him, even tho I sent numerous messages stating I would not be able to see him due to him being a half hour late for a half hour appointment.. Am I the only one who sees this as completely disrespectful? How do you as a client or provider feel the situation should be handled? I originally agreed to see him at a later time but after close to 25 emails and an hour an half later I started to feel very unsafe and stalked, I messaged asked if he was still there, waited 5 minutes messaged again and said I would be leaving for the night if I didn't hear back and then left when I didn't get any response.I am looking for honest input from both sides please. I feel the whole situation was odd but also that there was a total lack of respect. I don't know of anywhere you could show up that late for a set appointment and still be seen...

[limey]

Walk away. If you had met, you would be walking away slowly with that scared look then running .

I find no reason for him to act that way, other than stalking or sizing you up for something.

[Guest]

Ok...that's how I felt just a bad feeling in my gut...I ask because I recieved a rude and threatening letter this morning..saying I was so out of line for not seeing him. I just feel like 30 minutes is way too late to expect and then demand to be seen...

[limey]

It's the 30 minutes as well as his manipulation of time as well as out of norm requests. And then a rude letter/ e-mail. U B lucky me thinks.

[MAG]

So yesterday I had a client make an appoinment with me. We emailed back and forth and I lett him know email would be my only way to communicate with him...we set up an appointment for 4:30...I sent my location to him at 3:42 and asked him to message me when he arrived. Well at 4:23 I get a message asking if we are still on, well I find this odd but respond yes we are assuming he is close enough away to make the 4:30 appointment..at 4:35 I message him stating I assumed something had come up and he wasn't coming...he then shows up at 5 and states I need to come to the lobby to explain why I would'nt be seeing him, even tho I sent numerous messages stating I would not be able to see him due to him being a half hour late for a half hour appointment.. Am I the only one who sees this as completely disrespectful? How do you as a client or provider feel the situation should be handled? I originally agreed to see him at a later time but after close to 25 emails and an hour an half later I started to feel very unsafe and stalked, I messaged asked if he was still there, waited 5 minutes messaged again and said I would be leaving for the night if I didn't hear back and then left when I didn't get any response.I am looking for honest input from both sides please. I feel the whole situation was odd but also that there was a total lack of respect. I don't know of anywhere you could show up that late for a set appointment and still be seen...

So many things wrong with his behavior, where do I start....?

We haven't heard his side of the story, so my comments are based on the assumption that YOUR side of the story is accurate. That being said, texting is not rocket science, and he had 48 minutes after your text to get his ass to your location.

His attitude at 5:00, saying "you needed to explain", tells me he's a manipulative asshole.

We don't know the content of the subsequent 20+ emails, so it's hard to say what was going on there. I once had a provider stop responding to me after about a half-dozen emails, and those were legitimate attempts to work out scheduling. Her tolerance level was too low, and yours may be too high. Really, if the guy can't follow simple directions, he's not worth it.

[Guest hgritstoo]

I don't think he was disrespectful. Just incompetent.

If a horny guy is too stupid to follow simple directions to get to you......he probably shouldn't be breeding......or even playing at it.

[Cologuy809]

Occam's Razor = The simplest and most obvious answer is usually the correct answer.

So the answer is, he's an idiot. Walk away.

[Aaron123]

Hello everyone. I have never posted before and I don't really intend on being a very common participant on this board due to my personal preferences.

I have seen a few girls here and have very good references so that serves its purpose for me in this hobby at this point. I do, however, feel obligated to reply here as I am the client in question above. I am compelled to chime in here and Olivia has not accurately recounted the facts of last night.

First of all:

- I am culpable of being late originally and accept that, and apologized for this.

- the original schedule was for 430, and I did arrive at 448 to the hotel, but not without communication that I was on my way and stuck in traffic.

- I emailed multiple times in the build up asking if we were in fact confirmed before I drove down ) between 358-420pm with no reply.

- I let her know at 435 I was on my way and hustling.

- Regardless of this first missed appt, I actually sent a kind email asking to start over, even reintroducing myself. We at that point scheduled another appointment for 730 pm. I told her I would wait. A total of almost 3 hrs I waited, in the end she left with no reply.

It is at this point that I have the problem. I have copied and pasted the email I sent to Olivia in response to her post here. You guys can use your own judgement and thinking here. But understand that I was not the one who was disrespectful of time. I respect Olivia and did genuinely want to see her.

Olivia-

With all due respect I just saw the post you put on the board and that is not a fair representation of what actually happened:

I emailed you at 435pm stating I was coming and in traffic.

I arrived at 448 and realize I was late. I sent you multiple emails btwn 4-420 trying to be certain it was on before I drove out there.

I sent a very kind email asking to start over and even reintroducing myself.

I agreed to wait an additional 2 hours for a stated 730pm appt.

You messaged me at 650 asking if I was still here, I replied 2x stating I was still there.

you messaged at 7 stating you would wait 5 more mins which was 30 mins earlier than planned.

I replied 7 mins later that I was still there.

Your post on the board mentions none of these truths. If you were to post all of this conversation I feel you would get a much more honest opinion of what happened.

In addition, my email about the bad review was not mean, disrespectful at all. I apologized a few times, explained myself very clearly and stated that I didn't want to do it, but felt the situation merited it. I also replied this am stating I would not post a review if we could actually schedule an appt.

You have the complete wrong idea about me. I am a very nice and kind man. I would appreciate a dialogue about this, and if you are in fact going to try and put me on blast please do so accurately with all the facts.

Thanks

[Aaron123]

In addition, there was no texting involved. Only email, no phone number no nothing. So I was trying to reply promptly while driving in traffic.

I am no idiot, in fact highly educated. Her representation of this situation is completely skewed to her side and the outcome and reassurance she wants/needs to hear.

The back and forth emails were in a genuine attempt to schedule. the meeting in the lobby was a direct reply to her saying "you can meet me but can't stay to see me, I now don't have the time". To which I replied, ok meet me in the lobby or in the bar for a drink since I am already out there.

I am guilty of two things and put my hands up in absolution 1- being 18 mins late originally and 2- being silly enough to wait 3 hours.

I would also like to call everyone's attention to another review on the board which highlights a very similar behavior by Olivia. Now, If I were to post my review that would be 2 out of 4 reviews stating roughly the same result? that is 50/50 as to whether you will actually see her. Doesn't seem like great odds when we all have busy schedules and commit time, money, energy, etc on these girls.

Sorry Olivia, i truly did not intend to cause any problems, but to get the honest opinion on this situation the facts need to be stated.

[The Oxymoron]

Actually, I show up a little late for appointments all the time (it's one of my many shortcomings)... and the business people that I deal with, all handle it in a very respectful way.

Usually they can make time for me, and if they can't, they don't.

But one thing they NEVER do is go running to a public message board to bitch about me, nor do they attempt to smear my reputation with other people because of it.... but then again, they are professionals.

[Aaron123]

Oxy- Olivia and I made an arrangement for the botched first appt by rescheduled for 2.5 hours later at 730pm. I waited in the lobby of the hotel for a total of 2hrs45mins and communicated as promptly as I could via email.

She left at 7pm ( 30 mins prior to our 2nd scheduled appt) without any acknowledgment of my emails at 650 and 655pm stating.

"I am still here FYI"

These are the facts.

[The Oxymoron]

Oxy- Olivia and I made an arrangement for the botched first appt by rescheduled for 2.5 hours later at 730pm. I waited in the lobby of the hotel for a total of 2hrs45mins and communicated as promptly as I could via email.

She left at 7pm ( 30 mins prior to our 2nd scheduled appt) without any acknowledgment of my emails at 650 and 655pm stating.

"I am still here FYI"

These are the facts.

You're preaching to the choir......

[MAG]

Hello everyone. I have never posted before and I don't really intend on being a very common participant on this board due to my personal preferences.

I have seen a few girls here and have very good references so that serves its purpose for me in this hobby at this point. I do, however, feel obligated to reply here as I am the client in question above. I am compelled to chime in here and Olivia has not accurately recounted the facts of last night.

First of all:

- I am culpable of being late originally and accept that, and apologized for this.

- the original schedule was for 430, and I did arrive at 448 to the hotel, but not without communication that I was on my way and stuck in traffic.

- I emailed multiple times in the build up asking if we were in fact confirmed before I drove down ) between 358-420pm with no reply.

- I let her know at 435 I was on my way and hustling.

- Regardless of this first missed appt, I actually sent a kind email asking to start over, even reintroducing myself. We at that point scheduled another appointment for 730 pm. I told her I would wait. A total of almost 3 hrs I waited, in the end she left with no reply.

It is at this point that I have the problem. I have copied and pasted the email I sent to Olivia in response to her post here. You guys can use your own judgement and thinking here. But understand that I was not the one who was disrespectful of time. I respect Olivia and did genuinely want to see her.

Olivia-

With all due respect I just saw the post you put on the board and that is not a fair representation of what actually happened:

I emailed you at 435pm stating I was coming and in traffic.

I arrived at 448 and realize I was late. I sent you multiple emails btwn 4-420 trying to be certain it was on before I drove out there.

I sent a very kind email asking to start over and even reintroducing myself.

I agreed to wait an additional 2 hours for a stated 730pm appt.

You messaged me at 650 asking if I was still here, I replied 2x stating I was still there.

you messaged at 7 stating you would wait 5 more mins which was 30 mins earlier than planned.

I replied 7 mins later that I was still there.

Your post on the board mentions none of these truths. If you were to post all of this conversation I feel you would get a much more honest opinion of what happened.

In addition, my email about the bad review was not mean, disrespectful at all. I apologized a few times, explained myself very clearly and stated that I didn't want to do it, but felt the situation merited it. I also replied this am stating I would not post a review if we could actually schedule an appt.

You have the complete wrong idea about me. I am a very nice and kind man. I would appreciate a dialogue about this, and if you are in fact going to try and put me on blast please do so accurately with all the facts.

Thanks

He said she said. Not sure why you felt the need to defend yourself, since you're not a regular on the board and she didn't call you out specifically.

As noted in my post, there are two sides to every story. You were late -- your bad. Maybe she was intolerant or uncommunicative. Her bad.

You both should just move on. There are plenty of fish in the sea -- for both of you.

[Guest]

I was simply asking for people's honest opinion, I wanted to know if I was being ridiculous or if I should of moved my other appointments in order to see this person. I did not try to bitch about anyone. There are obviously two sides to everything. I just feel that if someone doesn't respect me or my time or my wishes I shouldn't be forced into seeing him. Either by him refusing to leave or by him sending me threatening letters (that are not included in his posts above) I was honestly looking for advice on the situation, I wasn't trying to bitch at all, sorry if it came off that way.

[Aaron123]

av8r - it is not in defense. It is just the truthful representation of what happened. the email chain can prove this and her depiction was so heavily skewed to receive the reply she coveted.

I like her, I'd still see her, but if it was going to go out to the forum the facts needed to be presented.

[Aaron123]

Olivia - there was not a single threat or lack of respect in my emails to you. be honest.

I was kind, cordial, truthful and confused.

Nothing more. And if you did not feel comfortable seeing me after the first appt missed, why have me wait the additional 2 hrs in the lobby ? why not tell me I do not feel comfortable seeing you. In which case I leave no harm no foul.

You had me wait only to leave me hanging after close to 3 hours of waiting!

[The Oxymoron]

You both should just move on. There are plenty of fish in the sea -- for both of you.

+1000

[limey]

So you have to e-mail only? If that's the case you really cant be late or you will send up a red flag, whoever you are. In business, a first time late would send up red flags as well.

Yes defensive you are but here's a question. Why no phone? Hobby phone? Really, move on. Damage is done.

[Aaron123]

She has no phone. I have a phone...she limits contact to email only, I was diligent and prompt as I could be in my replies. It certainly makes it challenging though you are correct.

I have moved on.

[Mace]

I'm glad Oxy left this up.

A classic example of what we have to deal with re: Review Disputes, he-said/she-said arguments and common business-practice failures.

This is a "service" industry.

I've been witness to this same type of situation countless times as a moderator.

The more successful business owners proactively nurture their customer relations person-to-person, rather than trying to damage control publicly on an internet board.

I've known providers and real-world business owners that have earnestly and honestly confronted their clients to reach a resolution to any problem that may have developed.

IMHO, this provider chose the wrong action with the public story-telling, rather than addressing the situation with customer.

[MAG]

I've known providers and real-world business owners that have earnestly and honestly confronted their clients to reach a resolution to any problem that may have developed.

IMHO, this provider chose the wrong action with the public story-telling, rather than addressing the situation with customer.

I would partly agree with this.

If he really did creep her out, I wouldn't blame her for refusing contact with him. Even in above-board service industries, sometimes a certain customer just isn't worth it.

But, going public was indeed not the best approach. The cynic in me suspects it was a pre-emptive strike, to defend against an inevitable negative review.

Besides, if we had one thread for every creepy john or flaky hooker, the TOB server would crash.

[Guest]

I like black and white. If I set an appointment for 7 PM and he has not called me by 6:55 PM to tell me that he is running late, I'm done. Very rarely, I run late for appointments. Yes, it does happen. But generally speaking I set an appointment so that I can plan out the rest of my day. If you do not have enough common courtesy to call and tell me that you are going to be late, I do not want to meet with you.

[Mace]

..If you do not have enough common courtesy to call and tell me that you are going to be late, I do not want to meet with you.

A failure in this situation's business practice.

"E-mail only"

[FirstTracks]

A failure in this situation's business practice.

"E-mail only"

Exactly!

Forget the he said, she said; the truth likely lies somewhere in the middle so just discard it and look at the facts.

They are both at fault.

If back-and-forth communication is required at all and one is limiting that communication to email only they they do not have the essential tools to conduct the business they are trying to conduct.

However, barring a catastrophic event there is no excuse for being 18 minutes late - plan to arrive early, use Google maps, etc., etc.

[Mustang87]

You have every right not to see him when he is late for the appointment. And he has no right to demand you come down to the lobby and explain. You were clearly in contact with him, and he could have told you he was running last and rescheduled.

Everybody had the right to set their own standards on what they will put up with in this business. And everyone else has the right to decide whether that want to work within those standards or not.

I've been left waiting for half hour or more for a scheduled appointment. Sometimes I wait around (most of the time, and sometimes I let her know that I am leaving. I feel I have a right to do either when she is late. Once or twice when I said I was leaving because she keeps me waiting past the scheduled time, I have been offered a discount if I wait a few more minutes. Other time I have been told never to call again.

I think we all have a right to set our own standards, and other can choose to work within them or not.

[Aaron123]

So for everyone's knowledge here. I am the client in question.

First, I did let her know I was in traffic and running late. I then owned up to being late and rescheduled for 2.5 hrs later. I waited in the lobby with communication I was there.

She left at 7 for a second appointment scheduled for 730. What did I do wrong?

the lobby / drink in the bar comment was in direct reply to her saying " I am happy to meet you but can't see you for an appt" I proposed a lobby or bar meet.

Frankly, the honest truth here could be shown with a full email chain disclosure, but it doesn't really matter. I was and am at fault for being 18 mins late, and I am sorry but the rest of this is ridiculous. happy to explain to anyone offline. What I have shared is the facts and can be backed up by the conversation.

[FirstTracks]

So for everyone's knowledge here. I am the client in question.

First, I did let her know I was in traffic and running late. I then owned up to being late and rescheduled for 2.5 hrs later. I waited in the lobby with communication I was there.

She left at 7 for a second appointment scheduled for 730. What did I do wrong?

the lobby / drink in the bar comment was in direct reply to her saying " I am happy to meet you but can't see you for an appt" I proposed a lobby or bar meet.

Frankly, the honest truth here could be shown with a full email chain disclosure, but it doesn't really matter. I was and am at fault for being 18 mins late, and I am sorry but the rest of this is ridiculous. happy to explain to anyone offline. What I have shared is the facts and can be backed up by the conversation.

That's about it.

You have nothing further to defend. Quit while you are ahead.

[Blue-eyedTraveler]

Well, this has been entertaining.

[Nusa]

That's about it.

You have nothing further to defend. Quit while you are ahead.

FYI, providers and 100+ potential clients trying to impress her will start backing her arguments against you, Arron123, and right or wrong will soon be a very minor consideration in this discussion. Sometimes the board runs by mob rules.

To Olivia, I'm not picking on you or anything about what you have done or said, I've just seen and been a part of a lot these arguments and this is how they usually go.

[lewd5050]

Email is fine for an introduction and references but it's such a pain in the butt for the final stage of the meet up. Olivia, use a phone call or text instead. This situation could have been handled with 2 calls instead of 30 emails. As far as not wanting to see the gent, that's up to you. Never see anyone you don't want to. Just tell him right away instead of making him jump through hoops for a meet that was not going to happen. You sound like 2 nice folks that had a misunderstanding. No big deal.