Saying hi via text or email after visit.

[jlc6089]

Ok, I have another question from a newbie who lets his heart believe what his brain knows not to be true. After a couple visits is it ok to drop your ASP an email or text saying hi, asking them how they or doing or something like that with no real mention if when you plan on the next date? Now I mean maybe two or three hello notes a month, not one every day. Or would that be annoying and possibly have her block you next time you are ready to make the date?

[Boricua7]

I always email to say thank you. Just a simple thank you for the services provided. I don't email or text otherwise unless provider emails me first. I don't want to be a pest.

[chunky4096]

A brief email or text directly after a session expressing how much you enjoyed seeing her is fine. Random "was' up" communications would be less welcome I suspect, and might be misinterpreted as stalkerish.

This is a business, and time is money. Don't be a time waster.

[MAG]

Ok, I have another question from a newbie who lets his heart believe what his brain knows not to be true. After a couple visits is it ok to drop your ASP an email or text saying hi, asking them how they or doing or something like that with no real mention if when you plan on the next date? Now I mean maybe two or three hello notes a month, not one every day. Or would that be annoying and possibly have her block you next time you are ready to make the date?

Wow. Just wow.

I almost ripped Jerry on his response to you in the other thread, I thought he was reading too much into your question. Now, I'm not so sure.

Dude, this is a business transaction. Leave the "heart" COMPLETELY out of it. She likely doesn't want your sweet little hand-wave of a text message -- that'll just creep her out. Rightfully so.

You're not friends. You're not lovers. You're two people who met each other's needs on a given day (you each have different needs, by the way).

You're starting to sound like you're falling in love. Take a step back & get some objectivity.

[2Big]

Sounds like a plan if you want to get blocked and filed under "stalker".

[jlc6089]

The heart comment was a joke based on the feedback I was getting from the other thread. Trust me, I am not a stalker, I am not delusional nor do I think it meant more to her other than ensuring I had a good time. I only ask that question because a did visit a FBSM provider a while back and we did text a couple times, nothing overtly crazy, maybe a few here and there. Sure I will make mistakes as a dabble in this. I only started really in February. So I'm just getting all the ins and outs in order to best enjoy he experience.

[MAG]

Fine, I'll take your word for it.

If you take one and only one piece of advice away from TOB, it is this: DO NOT get emotionally involved. Seeing a provider should be treated no differently than buying milk at the grocery store. Find what you want, pay for it, and get the hell out until you need more.

[urfan]

spoken like a true typical t.o.b. hobbyist. consider the possibility that there exist some who are clients - big difference

[jlc6089]

Believe me when I say I appreciate the advice I am receiving. I ask questions in order to achieve the full enjoyment of this past time. Some of them may seem dumb but to someone new to all this im just learning. I will use all feedback, suggestions and advice to ensure I don't foolishly go down the wrong path. Please also take my posts with a grain a salt, I like to inject humor in everything I do. I mean really, did you not think that I did not expect this type of response when I said ... Think with my heart. And Av8r, how cool would that be if you went to King Soopers and there was a "provider isle:)"

[MAG]

spoken like a true typical t.o.b. hobbyist. consider the possibility that there exist some who are clients - big difference

Did you leave some text out of that sentence? I don't understand the point you were trying to make. Other than yes, hobbyists are indeed clients.....

[Guest hgritstoo]

Did you leave some text out of that sentence? I don't understand the point you were trying to make. Other than yes, hobbyists are indeed clients.....

I think that he was implying that "hobbyist" has a negative image since they're all about the cheap rate and volume, whereas the "client" is more interested in a business relationship that benefits both sides. If I have read it correctly I would have a rare disagreement with him. The division is between those who respect others and those who don't

To the OP: Nothing wrong with a SMALL AMOUNT of friendly banter before hand or a thank you afterwards. As mentioned above....this is a business....don't clog up the lines of communication. I'm learning. I've screwed up with too much "off duty" contact and I'm trying to minimize it. The excitement of having beautiful women who would normally be way outta your league talk with YOU....and then have sex with YOU.....is overwhelming when you're new. Get a grip!

[jlc6089]

(Not quite sure how you guys pull a quote out and make it grey, but I'm using my phone, maybe that feature is not available via phone)

Hgritstoo, I think you hit it right on the nose! Simple, sasinct, kind of harsh with the out of my league comment, but ok, I'll give you that one:) but dead on. I kind of feel like a kid in the candy store right now!

[MAG]

I think that he was implying that "hobbyist" has a negative image since they're all about the cheap rate and volume, whereas the "client" is more interested in a business relationship that benefits both sides.

Well, if being a "hobbyist" means understanding that attempts at "friendship" may not be welcome after the appointment has concluded, then guilty as charged.

Most providers have busy lives and do not want continuing relationships with the men they see. Understanding that is the key to "being a good hobbyist" or "client" or whatever. Understanding that is also the hobbyist's key to maintaining perspective when his "heart" might otherwise get involved.

[lakelovernaz]

Sounds like YMMV everyone is different and so are providers. There are some who know it doesn't always just start at the door. A few text or e-mails can increase the anticipation and make sure your on the same page. I am on the client side with URFAN.

[EveSupreme]

It's amazing how far this thread has gotten without a single female's input. So, from my perspective, the occasional note or text is very welcome. Believe it or not, some of us ladies enjoy being perceived as more than just a collection of warm, squishy orifices. To this day, many of my best friends are gentleman I met in the hobby. Of course, each situation's individual nuances determine how much contact is "too much," but I, for one, welcome the real community and warmth our little niche can provide.

[Kaylee]

I don't mind the occasional hello, enjoyed our date, or looking forward to seeing you again. I do get nervous when I am constantly receiving texts or emails. I think it all depends on the provider.

[mj76]

Probably not. As much as it sucks sometimes this is a business transaction. I wouldn't want my customers sending me random shit. For the most part I respect my customers but they are not my friends and I don't need them wasting my time. I have real friends to waste my time.

[Audrey Astor]

Some hobbyist have become friends thru chat or visits or whatever. There are some days that the little text or "thinking of you", or nice compliment make my day. That is nice, and I really appreciate it.

Wanting to have an all day convo thru text, is not, just because most of us are so busy.

I think you are ok with a quick little note, and like it said it can really make a day.

[jlc6089]

Thanks for the feedback all, but I think the perspective from the women is more what I needed to hear. But I think what I really should do is just ask my ATF!

[Lovely_Leigh]

Ok, I have another question from a newbie who lets his heart believe what his brain knows not to be true. After a couple visits is it ok to drop your ASP an email or text saying hi, asking them how they or doing or something like that with no real mention if when you plan on the next date? Now I mean maybe two or three hello notes a month, not one every day. Or would that be annoying and possibly have her block you next time you are ready to make the date?

When I get the after rendezvous "Thank You" email I know my friend had fun which is important to me. I welcome those. I love them really. I do have "work friends" with whom I will trade emails (if something is funny or makes me think of them I will drop them a line). I am thinking of the gents I do this with and most of the time I was the one who initiated "banter emails". I think it's because they want to be respectful of my time. I think many of the guys view it as MJ does. "People sending me random shit". You want to send two or three random emails a month? What if she has two dozen guys sending her sweet sincere "Hello" emails a day? Please keep in mind you aren't her only client. If she starts sending you "What'd up?" emails then by all means; she has opened the lines of communication.

[nairobi09]

I do not see anything wrong with your attitudes or original question. There are two people involved and you are one of them. Each of you and the woman can decide what works for each of you. There are no 'rules' as such. Each woman will decide how to handle a casual email and then you can decide what to about; 'no harm, no foul.'

If you are asking about a 'rule of thumb' it is probably what people here have said, a casual email afterwards is fine but otherwise it is best to act as if it were a business.

Having said that though, I can think of more than one provider that did not seem to mind much if I sent an email that I thought they might value based on something that they had said to me.

Personally, if I am going to repeat visits (more than two) with a woman I probably would want to be able to send an occasional email. This is probably because my visits are at least one month apart and I need a bit of encouragement to just not choose another attractive profile from the available 'inventory.'

[Guest Euclid]

It's amazing how far this thread has gotten without a single female's input. So, from my perspective, the occasional note or text is very welcome. Believe it or not, some of us ladies enjoy being perceived as more than just a collection of warm, squishy orifices. To this day, many of my best friends are gentleman I met in the hobby. Of course, each situation's individual nuances determine how much contact is "too much," but I, for one, welcome the real community and warmth our little niche can provide.

The subsequent posts in this thread to your own illustrate that it's about the two individuals and the relationship - economic and otherwise - they may or may not establish. And every relationship is different, including in this space.

At the least I would defer to the lady and whatever she is, or isn't, comfortable with and let all initiation of any exchange(s) originate with her. And if she doesn't, that's okay as this is first, and originally, a financial transaction.

[macho]

What you really need is advise from a macho. We both know your a psycho. No need to justify yourself. Anyways even if everyone told you that your a creep your still going to send your your creepy text. So all you can really do is try to accept yourself for who you are. I understand you can't help it. Anyways good luck with this provider that you love.

[Ryann]

Funny how the guys know exactly how all of us gals think.........NOT!

I am friends with 90% of my clientele. Maybe not the call and see what's up twice a day kinda friend, but friends non the less.

so for me, an occasional "Hello" Or "what's up" is A OK with me. Heck if I!m

Busy , I'll tell ya.

Ps

Guys quit acting as if you know our wants and needs. We aren't directions!

So if your unsure, please just ask....we don't bite.

Nibble , yes . Bite , no.

[fancydarling]

I don't mind a periodic hello. It's always nice to be thought about.

[Guest Tinman]

I don't think an innocuous 'had a great time' apres meet text hurts anyone. I've shared occasional E-mails with providers I either befriended or shared common interests outside the biz with. I'd probably refrain from out of the blue 'how ya doin' messages unless it's a preamble to making another appointment, imminent or in the not too distant future.

Just don't do it in any fashion that might be construed as an attempt to turn a professional experience into a personal relationship and you'll do fine. If you cross a line with a provider, you'll either be put strait or 86'd. Hopefully, the former over the latter.

Happy Hobbying.

[George Taylor]

I have a couple favorite providers who will say text me when you get home and I will but other then that I don't that's what civilian girl friends are for.

[bd5671]

Oh, wow. I wished I'd read this post earlier.

I've texting and e-mailing this girl I met yesterday all morning.

I guess I'll get out of the bushes in front of her place and go home now.

Gee, and I thought she really liked me!

BD

Just kidding.

I wasn't really texting her and e-mailing her from the bushes in front of her place.

I was just hiding there...

after going through her closets and drawers before she came home.

Next time I'll text and e-mail her from home,

and hope the wife doesn't catch me...

again.