Two Irish Jokes

[Jez UaBriain]

On going to heaven.

Father Murphy walks into a pub in Donegal, and asks the first man he meets, 'Do you want to go to heaven?'

The man said, 'I do, Father.' The priest said, 'Then stand over there against the wall.'

Then the priest asked

the second man, 'Do you want to go to heaven?' 'Certainly, Father,' the man replied.

'Then stand over there

against the wall,' said the priest.

Then Father Murphy walked up to O'Toole and asked,

'Do you want to go to heaven?' O'Toole said, 'No, I don't Father.'

The priest said, 'I don't believe this.

You mean to tell me that when you die you don't want to go to heaven?'

O'Toole said, 'Oh, when I die , yes.

I thought you were getting a group together to go right now?'

__________________________________________________

Paddy looks for a parking space.

Something to brighten a cloudy day:

Paddy was driving down the street in a sweat because he had an important

meeting and couldn't find a parking place..

Looking up to heaven he said, 'Lord take pity on me. If you find me a

parking place I will go to Mass every Sunday for the rest of me life and give up me Irish Whiskey!'

Miraculously,

a parking place appeared.

Paddy looked up again and said, 'Never mind, I found one.'

[_303xxx8767]

An irish guy always orders two beers at a time to imitate drinking a beer with his brother out at see.

One day he starts to order just one berate a time. So the bar tender asks if everythingbis alright and if his brother is fine.

He replies "my brother is fine, I simply gave ip drinking for lent"...