Posted January 25, 2013 So I'm new to the area and a common issue I'm running into is that I'm new to the area and have 0 references. How do I get past this? I'm available tomorrow but every time i find an ASP profile I'm interested in, I read the "need references" quote. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted January 25, 2013 This is a very common problem. Use the search feature on the board and you'll find alot of threads to read about this subject. The upshot is, the ladies need to feel safe seeing you. Some will not see you without references no matter what. Some will but they may use other meant to make themselves feel safe. My advice is to call the ladies you want to see, be honest, and let her know you will provide any info she needs. You will have to be patient with her and not expect to set it up on short notice. Good luck 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted January 25, 2013 I was where you are at 2 years ago. In my (somewhat limited) experience, I found that eventually, you're going to have to tell somebody something. In my case, I gave screening info to two well reviewed ladies, and then used those references to acquire a P411 account. Voila! I had access to hundreds of women who were way outta my league. I could have bypassed this step by giving screening info directly to the P411 folks. Some here will suggest you should keep dialing until you find a lady who doesn't want screening info. You can find them. But then, I would remember Groucho Marx's statement that you wouldn't want to join a club that would have someone like you for a member. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted January 25, 2013 Started in '07 with no references. Yes, do some research and you can find someone well-reviewed who doesn't require them. Start from there. Providers communicate with each other, to be sure. Posting reviews here and having a TOB identity also helps. Thought about P411, but nahhh. Why should I pay money for something I no longer need and have my info with yet someone else? I'm sure it's all well and fine and bravo to anyone who finds it helpful, but I'll pass. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted January 25, 2013 Grits petty much said it. I bit the bullet and gave some private info to a well reviewed provider. She was nice enough to school me on what I needed to do if I wanted to see other ladies. It worked out well. I hope it works out for you. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted January 25, 2013 So I'm new to the area and a common issue I'm running into is that I'm new to the area and have 0 references. How do I get past this?...This is a very common problem. Use the search feature on the board and you'll find alot of threads to read about this subject. The upshot is, the ladies need to feel safe seeing you... ...I bit the bullet and gave some private info to a well reviewed provider. She was nice enough to school me on what I needed to do if I wanted to see other ladies...We all started as newbies, and ladies need to feel safe with whom they are spending time with. In addition to seeing a well-reviewed lady, I would also look on EB for the ladies who list newbie-friendly. If they are well-reviewed and newbie friendly, big ups! 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted January 25, 2013 I was where you are at 2 years ago. In my (somewhat limited) experience, I found that eventually, you're going to have to tell somebody something. In my case, I gave screening info to two well reviewed ladies, and then used those references to acquire a P411 account. Voila! I had access to hundreds of women who were way outta my league. I could have bypassed this step by giving screening info directly to the P411 folks. Some here will suggest you should keep dialing until you find a lady who doesn't want screening info. You can find them. But then, I would remember Groucho Marx's statement that you wouldn't want to join a club that would have someone like you for a member. +1 for P411. It helps you establish credentials that are respected by many providers. You can also use it as a method to contact providers who are members, so there is some assurance of credibilty for both parties. Also very helpful when hobbying away from home. Good Luck and Happy Hobbying! 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted January 25, 2013 Started in '07 with no references. Yes, do some research and you can find someone well-reviewed who doesn't require them. Start from there. Providers communicate with each other, to be sure. Posting reviews here and having a TOB identity also helps. Thought about P411, but nahhh. Why should I pay money for something I no longer need and have my info with yet someone else? I'm sure it's all well and fine and bravo to anyone who finds it helpful, but I'll pass. Like you, i used to think being on tob and writing reviews was helpful. Over the last few months though there have been several posts by ladies describing how much they dislike us tob gents and would much rather see BP guys only. I dont want to call a lady who in truth really doesnt want to see me. I know those ladies dont speak for all the ladies but im sure there are many more who feel the same but say they dont. It really made me wonder if the ladies i had seen, and were very nice to me, in reality hoped i wouldnt call again. There was a short window of time when gents could see what the ladies were saying on the escorts only board. From what i've been told, what some of the ladies had to say wasnt pretty. I was shocked to hear through pm from other gents what the ladies really think about us. Although i never heard about anything pertaining to me in particular, this along with the posts on the board by some of the ladies, has made me stop making any appointments for now. I say this so the op has an idea of the down side of being on the board and writing reviews. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted January 25, 2013 ........ Posting reviews here and having a TOB identity also helps..... Like you, i used to think being on tob and writing reviews was helpful......... I say this so the op has an idea of the down side of being on the board and writing reviews. In all honesty, I've got to go with Lewd on this. Posting at TOB does NOT equal verification. Not in the slightest. Instead, posting here and writing (or NOT writing....depending upon circumstances) reviews here, especially as a noob, gives you AMPLE opportunity to put your feet in your mouth and gnaw them all the way up to the ankles. I tell myself that I clean up pretty good, and am reasonably pleasant in person. But I have done far more damage to potential as well as existing provider/client relationships by posting here than if I had never posted at all. In several cases, I believe I have succeeded in "un-verifying" myself with certain providers I have not seen. Stick to verified providers. Build references. And STFU doesn't hurt, either. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted January 26, 2013 I'm a P411 fan as well. Definitely helps you get established. One thing I'll add is that once you find a provider who's newbe-friendly, ask her for a recommendation of someone else to see. That can cut through some of the verification hassles if the one reference you now have is from a trusted colleague. Now you'll have two references which can get you on P411 and you're on your way. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted January 26, 2013 to me it's all about the phone call. "Hi, I saw your ad on ... and read some of your reviews on tob and was calling the see what you have available". no mention of any implied service or questions about things that could be held against either of us in court. keep it simple. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted January 26, 2013 Search the thread archive, this has been discussed a million times. And the million and one discussion thread won't generate any new insights. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted January 26, 2013 No, posting on TOB does not mean there can be implied trust between any of us. TOB is so easy to join...monitor. FYI for hobbyests...hear there are false posts on Backpage that may be dangerous for your health. I would stick with providers I know for awhile until you are safe. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted January 26, 2013 Sign up for TER and P411 they will HELP you TOB is not the place to be a newbie trust me lol 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted January 27, 2013 Now you guys have me curious as to what the evil spectre of being a TOB member is? I've never really had any issues with arranging time with a lady, and it certainly wasn't due to my suave demeanor or good looks. Still not convinced that me or anyone else needs P411, but to each their own. I'm sure P411 serves its purpose. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted January 27, 2013 Yeah...it does make ya wonder sometimes and I'm with ya on the reluctance. I've gone through periods of personal conflict that cause me to question my choices to see ASPs, but then I get deperate for attention:o. Sometimes...no matter how good an appointment goes, I feel unsatisfied afterwards. That's on me...and I need to have a reality check on what I was really looking for. I don't consider myself to be a TOB gent, but if someone wishes not to see me based on something I posted on a message board??? Good!!! There's been a few girls that always seemed to have a reason they couldn't see me...and I assume it was a blow off. Disappointing? Sure...but that was probably an appointment that I would have left feeling unsatisfied. As far as the OP and verification go...you can just keep calling (that's what I did) or give up some personal info (which I've also done:o). This really isn't that hard...if you find it to be hard....you're saying something wrong. Like you, i used to think being on tob and writing reviews was helpful. Over the last few months though there have been several posts by ladies describing how much they dislike us tob gents and would much rather see BP guys only. I dont want to call a lady who in truth really doesnt want to see me. I know those ladies dont speak for all the ladies but im sure there are many more who feel the same but say they dont. It really made me wonder if the ladies i had seen, and were very nice to me, in reality hoped i wouldnt call again. There was a short window of time when gents could see what the ladies were saying on the escorts only board. From what i've been told, what some of the ladies had to say wasnt pretty. I was shocked to hear through pm from other gents what the ladies really think about us. Although i never heard about anything pertaining to me in particular, this along with the posts on the board by some of the ladies, has made me stop making any appointments for now. I say this so the op has an idea of the down side of being on the board and writing reviews. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted January 27, 2013 Sign up for TER and P411 they will HELP you TOB is not the place to be a newbie trust me lol Not sure what you meant by this, but i doubt many here trust you. "IMHO" 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted January 27, 2013 So I'm new to the area and a common issue I'm running into is that I'm new to the area and have 0 references. How do I get past this? I'm available tomorrow but every time i find an ASP profile I'm interested in, I read the "need references" quote. I can still remember sweating it out with the first two ladies I seen with no references, just be yourself follow instructions and you should be fine. Alot of the ladies can tell just by your demeanor on the phone if they would be willing to see you without references IMO. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted January 27, 2013 Sign up for TER and P411 they will HELP you TOB is not the place to be a newbie trust me lol What's a "stirpper baby"? Still not convinced that me or anyone else needs P411 Yeah, kind of makes me wonder how I made it through over 20 years of hobbying without signing up for any internet services. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted January 28, 2013 I can still remember sweating it out with the first two ladies I seen with no references, just be yourself follow instructions and you should be fine. Alot of the ladies can tell just by your demeanor on the phone if they would be willing to see you without references IMO. This is true, but rare. The guys have given you some good ideas. Just be yourself, state your situation, and be honest. There are other ways to verify yourself without references. The most important thing is not to lie. That puts ladies on high alert. If you are not willing to provide the requested information, just say that you are not comfortable with that. I'm sure you will be having fun in no time! 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
