Guest Adelle Ashby

Dating

73 posts in this topic

Honesty right from the start is the best way to begin relationship.

While this might scare off many of the men you date, a relationship has to be based on trust to survive, and any lies destroy trust!

So if the man runs when you tell him OR makes a play to get into your pants right because of it, then he wasn't the right man for you. If he looks dumb founded and then starts asking how long you have been an escort, and if you planned on continuing being an escort, he might be worth your effort.

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Bit Banger... So you're suggesting the lady is not an escort but the guy she is seeing has been visiting them? ...

No, that was NOT my implication. I was not trying to suggest anything about her potential paramours.

I was suggesting that following the 'do unto others...' rule regarding when she should tell him about her job would be appropriate, as in. "When she would like someone to tell her about their sexual past/activities?" I don't think full disclosure on the first date is required, or even the 10th. But at some point it will be, I think even if she retires. And as far as I'm concerned, if she's been merely evasive, w/o falsehood, prior to that she'll have no ethical issues.

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It really depends on what you want your future to look like.

Odds are, you'll know people in common with whoever you want to date. And once you tell him, you should assume that your friends and maybe some family members will know at some point as well. If you're ok with others beyond your guy knowing about this lifestyle, then tell the truth.

If you're not ok with that, then don't tell him. And think about your provider future before beginning to start dating, because you may want to quit after you meet someone you think is special.

Nevertheless even though we've never met before, I'd totally go out on a date with you. :)

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When should I come clean to a guy that I am escort? First date, second? Or should I just put in my profile on the dating website? I am worried that it will attract all the wrong men. I'm starting to get lonely at nights and when I go out, so I figure after being single for a few years now, it's time to jump on the horse again. :eek: It scares the shit out of me.

Advise? I don't know how to even put it delicately without scaring anyone off. Or should I just keep it a secret and retire when I enter the working world?

I would never disclose it unless you intend to continue if/once you get serious. Then I would just let it be your secret. No need to rock the proverbial boat.

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This post kinda comes off like a dating ad IMO. Kinda like you're letting these guys know that you're looking. Not saying there's anything wrong with that. Just saying what I think.

+1

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+1

Right because I have men lining out the door to see me. :rolleyes:

I think my post(s) was well written to explain that I am NOT under any circumstances trying to date a hobbyist, besides Destiny's sweet bliss I don't find it plausible to date a man that sees escorts.

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Right because I have men lining out the door to see me. :rolleyes:

I think my post(s) was well written to explain that I am NOT under any circumstances trying to date a hobbyist, besides Destiny's sweet bliss I don't find it plausible to date a man that sees escorts.

This post kind of reminds me of a car salesman who sells Fords but won't drive one.

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Come on, guys, this one's a no-brainer:

Question about employment is part and parcel of the initial conversation.

1. Picture. 2. How old are you? 3. Kids? 4. Relationship status? 5. Work?

Go through your checklist and discard the deadbeats.

Now, whether or not you're comfortable dating a hooker - that's a whole nother issue.

I personally find the whole sex industry icky, full of sleazebags, petty criminals, and just plain gross people. So I don't want any interaction with that industry, other than to stick my dick in a couple of times a month.

Plus, show me a hooker, and I'll show you a deadbeat dude who's riding her coattails.

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I never ask a lady what her job is on a first date . Mostly because I am into the person,not the occupation.

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This is something I have been struggling with myself, however its not how to tell someone new but someone who has been in my life for a while and showed romantic interest in me. I fell for this guy in high school and we've been close ever since. He think's I dance and only do FBSM.

So Adelle, when you figure something out - Let me know! <3

All the love and well wishes in the world,

T

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Heres my .02 on this. i am chiming in a little late into this, and i have not read every post so please pardon me if i am a bit redundant.

1. Gotta be comfortable with who you are in order to find what/who is right for you.

2. Honestly is the First component to a foundation of Trust and Longevity in any relationship. Whether its friendship, professional, or relationships.

3. I really dont have a 3rd point at this time but more of a offer of ears to listen and a Inbox if you care to vent or comment in private to me.

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When should I come clean to a guy that I am escort? First date, second? Or should I just put in my profile on the dating website? I am worried that it will attract all the wrong men. I'm starting to get lonely at nights and when I go out, so I figure after being single for a few years now, it's time to jump on the horse again. :eek: It scares the shit out of me.

Advise? I don't know how to even put it delicately without scaring anyone off. Or should I just keep it a secret and retire when I enter the working world?

My advice, try for a client sugar daddy in the interim. They know what you do/did, they generally will either pay you to stay out or enjoy that you still work. Depends on the dude and the amount of money you are getting I guess.

With that said, anything could happen and you could meet someone like a few ladies here have and fall in love and continue to work or not work. MANY ladies have left for a guy who knew, but was not ok and a couple still work and are active here who have dudes that hobby as well. Girls are in swinger marriages too. It is not uncommon to find someone right for you in this business, just not common either.

My humble opinion.....Don't try and date right now off of sites like Match, you know full well that you ONLY will start attracting all the wrong guys if you are honest and if you aren't, you might have the right guy but let's be honest....most anything you do right now with the right guy while you are still working run the risk of only ever being a "right guy, wrong time" situation.

For me, those "right guy wrong time" situations are the only situations I have ever been in that left me feeling "what if" and mildly obsessing over what went wrong and how I could have done it different. They are genuinely the only situations I have ever been in where I didn't feel like I was the maker of my own destiny; even though I was the ONLY maker of my destiny. That feeling sucks and I have learned how to not to put myself in it now.

Good luck in anything you decide sweetheart.

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