Ladies is this normal? She freaked me out!!!!

[Guest Chewie69]

Saw a well known provider and had a great time. Just as I was getting out of the shower she started asking me all kinds of questions about my family. [snip], how long my wife had worked for her company (she knew the exact company she works for) she asked about [snip] etc......I dont talk about family during sessions period. When I looked shocked she informed me that all girls do detailed internet searches on clients before they see them.

Im all about you gals feeling safe but dude it seemed a bit over the top. Almost stalker ish or like she was showing she had leverage on me. She has since texted me several times wanting to see how I am and ask when we can get together again. This leads me to believe I didn't scare her this is just how she does business. I don't plan on seeing her again i just wanna know if this degree of background check is typical

Edited November 22, 2012 by boink36
Forbidden topic removed.

[The Oxymoron]

Yes, it's normal and it only takes a minute to run your info through Google. So really, it's not a as high level of a background check as you might think.

However, I am a strong believer that if you are a client who is giving your private information out to providers for "screening", it's only a matter of time before you run into a nut who blasts your info all over the internet because you didn't follow through with your appointment request, or mentioned "she was a little heavier than her photos" in a review.

Get an anonymous email, a hobby phone, a verification service account... AND PROTECT YOUR PERSONAL LIFE!!!

There are some providers who won't see you unless you give them your private information, and that's fine. It's their prerogative to ask for as much additional info as they feel is necessary to keep themselves safe. However, there is no way in hell that I would EVER recommend actually giving out your private info to anyone in this industry. A good number (20%) of providers are completely nuts, and I think that percentage gets higher as you climb the rate scale. So the more she charges, the more likely she is bonkers.

Stay safe out there.

Always,

Gina

[boink36]

Saw a well known provider and had a great time. Just as I was getting out of the shower she started asking me all kinds of questions about my family. About my kids, how long my wife had worked for her company (she knew the exact company she works for) she asked about the ages of my kids etc......I dont talk about family during sessions period. When I looked shocked she informed me that all girls do detailed internet searches on clients before they see them.

Im all about you gals feeling safe but dude it seemed a bit over the top. Almost stalker ish or like she was showing she had leverage on me. She has since texted me several times wanting to see how I am and ask when we can get together again. This leads me to believe I didn't scare her this is just how she does business. I don't plan on seeing her again i just wanna know if this degree of background check is typical

If you don't see her again can your wife expect a call at work? I don't think it's normal at all. I started in this hobby in 1985. in that time I never once gave more than my first name and phone number, hobby phone in the more modern days.

Providers will reply to this post saying they need more information to feel safe. that's fine and that's their right, DON"T SEE THEM. only you can choose who you see and how much information you give them. choose wisely or your wife could be the person asking why you made such a bad choice.

[Guest]

A good number (20%) of providers are completely nuts, and I think that percentage gets higher as you climb the rate scale. So the more she charges, the more likely she is bonkers.

That is fucking hilarious! True though.

[NaughtyNiceGuy]

A good number (20%) of providers are completely nuts, and I think that percentage gets higher as you climb the rate scale. So the more she charges, the more likely she is bonkers.

Gina

[Guest Chewie69]

Our appointment was set up through p411. Nothing else

[Guest Chewie69]

As I said before my appt was set up strictly through p411. My profile doesn't include anything about my life....She went digging and that's messed up

[The Oxymoron]

As I said before my appt was set up strictly through p411. My profile doesn't include anything about my life....She went digging and that's messed up

There's absolutely nothing on your P411 profile that could be used to go "digging"... unless you are using an email address or phone number that connects to your real life in your profile or when you are contacting providers.

I don't know if you are, but I can tell you that tons of clients use an anonymous email address (like gmail) but have their real name showing clear as day in the header. I've posted about this numerous times in the messages on P411.

If you'd like me to take a look to see where the info may have been gleaned, feel free to contact me privately (gina @ preferred411.com - take out the spaces) and I can take a look at your account and the contact with the provider, to see if there is anything I can pinpoint for you.

Always,

Gina

[The Oxymoron]

This sounds like jealousy or a personal dig at certain providers to me. My experience is the opposite.

But then again, you aren't privy to even one half of one percent of the bullshit and drama that I'm privy to.

In my career, I have worked closely with tens of thousands of providers. I assure you that I'm not jealous, but I am tired of dealing with wackjobs... they are the minority (thank gawd) but they are a very noticeable, and exasperating minority.

Gina

[Guest Trefoil]

But then again, you aren't privy to even one half of one percent of the bullshit and drama that I'm privy to.

In my career, I have worked closely with tens of thousands of providers. I assure you that I'm not jealous, but I am tired of dealing with wackjobs... they are the minority (thank gawd) but they are a very noticeable, and exasperating minority.

Gina

She's right. Honestly, if you haven't run into any wackos, you haven't contacted enough ladies.

[lola]

But then again, you aren't privy to even one half of one percent of the bullshit and drama that I'm privy to.

In my career, I have worked closely with tens of thousands of providers. I assure you that I'm not jealous, but I am tired of dealing with wackjobs... they are the minority (thank gawd) but they are a very noticeable, and exasperating minority.

Gina

Have you written a book? I'd buy it.

[Guest sophiarose]

I know...me too! I bet that would be a good beach read. Too bad it won't be out before I escape the Colorado cold lol...

And as for the behavior, no that's not normal. Unfortunately there are always a few nutjobs out there who just don't get it...

[Guest jade.starr]

I don't inquire past what is divulged to me, as I feel that there should always be a sense of anonymity imposed. I just think of if the roles were reversed, how would I feel if this was done to me and someone knew far more than would seem normal (or even the fact that they would make it know that they were privy to such information.) I think it is odd to be that inquisitive, it definitely brings forth a sense of alternative motive. But who's to say, maybe just curiosity? But we all know that curiosity doesn't always lead to an enjoyable surprise.

[Guest sturgis man]

A good number (20%) of providers are completely nuts, and I think that percentage gets higher as you climb the rate scale. So the more she charges, the more likely she is bonkers.

Very true in my experience with at least one person in this community. Some people are so damaged that there is just no way to reach them unless they realize it and want to improve themselves.

Although my saying is that everyone is crazy it's just to what extent(including me)? So who am I to say. Like George Thoroughgood sang,"everybody funny, now you funny too!".

[rachelsonoma]

I feel she was out of line to bring up your wife. She has the right to verify you, but it is for her safety only. Any personal info that she has of yours should be deleted by now. Does she have your regular cell number or a hobby fon number? You could ask her to delete your information. Explain that you are cautious.

If a client wants to discuss his family life, I am all ears, but I will never be the one to bring it up.

[Guest Rachael]

Welcome to reality. This crazy, big world is full of exciting, scary stuff. There are crazy people everywhere.

It's about boundaries. We are living in a world where they're are grey areas, but where ever you tread, you have to know your boundaries. Hell, the whole world right now seems like a gray area.

Personally I have never directly asked about personal things like that. I'm creating a fantasy. Perhaps over time, consistency, personal experience... trust ... I may learn to know about these things. But it's a mutual, comfortable experience. And there are always those boundaries... you could always say... for example... "I'm not comfortable with that, perhaps next time", that might be sufficient.

Yeah, we do screening, we just want to know that you won't hurt us. And I guess on the flip side, you guys have the same fear. But if it don't feel right, it ain't! You don't have to do it!

I'd like to think if you live your truth, you have nothing to hide. Even in this world. Maybe I'm naive. We all have to have a measure of discretion and anonymity, but also have to be accountable. But then comes the crazy factor.

I do not agree with the statement that the more expensive companions are also the craziest. But I would say that you may come across some unstable, misguided, unhealthy, dysfunctional people here. But that happens every where. That's where personal boundaries come in.

Crazy hot bitches! Were the best. Just Remember your looking for crazy hot good, or crazy hot fun. Not crazy hot scary or crazy hot uncomfortable she ripped you off, called your wife, met her pimp, or asked you for bail money.

[2Big]

I don't plan on seeing her again

Your mistake was to give her all kinds of private information in the first place.

But you drew the right conclusion.

Be sure to write a review and place it in the review section, so other hobbyists are warned.

[2Big]

Yeah, we do screening, we just want to know that you won't hurt us.

That about sums up what I like to call the "voodoo of screening".

[Guest Chewie69]

As I said before 2big I didn't give her and info up front other than my 411 profile info. She told me she went on the internet looking for additional info on me. I feel other guys deserve a heads up but Im nervous about retaliation if I write a review.

[Guest Euclid]

She's right. Honestly, if you haven't run into any wackos, you haven't contacted enough ladies.

[Guest Euclid]

Your mistake was to give her all kinds of private information in the first place.

But you drew the right conclusion.

Be sure to write a review and place it in the review section, so other hobbyists are warned.

You can't qualify or quantify the potential threat from this individual at this time and a review, regardless of how tactfully it may be worded, may provoke her.

If you do write a review do it under another moniker than the one you're using in this thread, wait a while before you write it and do be particularly scrupulous in your choice of wording for the review.

Else, any individual who cares to can simply DM you and you can provide the provider's name off-line.

Edited November 23, 2012 by Euclid
grammar

[2Big]

This lady is a loose cannon.

No quanti- or qualification needed.

This is what reviews are for. Why is this even an issue?

[Guest]

To the OP, NO this is not normal and it is inappropriate to say the least. If you have a P411 account that should be enough to make most feel comfortable. Of course we do a little bit of extra checking, BUT to go as far as to see your really private info is not cool, let a lone bring it up to you.

The wife and SO are NO NO subjects unless the client brings them up. I would totally get a burner phone, and another e mail ASAP! Just like us ladies need to feel safe you guys have that right as well, and I shouldn't even have to tell you how important being discreet is.

Gina was correct in her 20% of girls are nuts. I personally have way, way to much other stuff going on in my life to spend the amount of time it takes to find out your personal info about your life. I am far more interested in knowing that you are not LE and you are not going to beat me up. Once I find out you are a good guy, then my focus is on having a good time. That is what is important, and nobody needs to know your personal info to have a good time.

[Flanker]

Saw a well known provider and had a great time. Just as I was getting out of the shower she started asking me all kinds of questions about my family. [snip], how long my wife had worked for her company (she knew the exact company she works for) she asked about [snip] etc......I dont talk about family during sessions period. When I looked shocked she informed me that all girls do detailed internet searches on clients before they see them.

Im all about you gals feeling safe but dude it seemed a bit over the top. Almost stalker ish or like she was showing she had leverage on me. She has since texted me several times wanting to see how I am and ask when we can get together again. This leads me to believe I didn't scare her this is just how she does business. I don't plan on seeing her again i just wanna know if this degree of background check is typical

Follow Oxymoron's advice closely. I didn't and paid for it and it took me out of hobbying for many months......

[gr8owl]

OK a few basics about personal privacy. I really wish someone that is much more knowledgable than me would put together a quick primer, cause it obviously is needed but here is what I know.

If you get a second or hobby phone, even a temporary, and then register it under your real name you might as well broadcast your identity. There are several pay sites and at least one FREE one that will let me pull down your name with just your phone number.

Unless P411 has changed since I registered years back, your REAL first name, town you are located in, etc. is your sign-in name and client id.

Combine the first two and if you used your real name to register the phone that you called the provider on and gave her your p411 id she has verification of your real name in about 30 seconds. If your name is not a real common one - John Smith makes it hard! - it will take about five minutes tops to have a list of your relatives, etc. If the wife or idiot brother-in-law are unsecured on Linked, facebook, etc. etc. your fave provider can have a picture of you, what you had for breakfast, where you live and work, and when you are going on vacation in about ten minutes. It is real easy, trust me, and there are many a lot more skilled than I at internet searches. So kids:

Yes, get a hobby phone and e-mail, but do NOT render those steps useless by registering them under your real name.

Do not give out personal information to any provider, even AFTER you have seen her a few times. You are loading a gun and pointing it at your head. Keep it strictly business and she doesn't NEED to have any of that info.

Works the other way too ladies. I am appalled how often I check for shits and grins to find a provider has her phone listed in her real name. YIKES!!!

Lastly, NO it is not normal for most providers to perform even a rudimentary background check. Certain "verification" services don't either. Why do I say this? Cause when I first restarted a few years back one of the social networking sites that mines peoples information and then hopes they end up getting you to join had me erroneously, let me repeat for clarity, ERRONEOUSLY tied to a law enforcement agency. More than one lady AND a verification service could have pulled up that erroneous info in 30 seconds with a google search, non-the-less I had no problem getting appointments AND membership in the verification service who appears to have only verified that my credit card was good.

Your privacy is precious in this hobby - PROTECT IT! Do not assume any service will protect it for you OR protect you from all manner of problems if you don't.

Carry on and have fun.

[The Oxymoron]

Please let me clarify one thing:

Just because this (or any other) provider found additional information on you and it was mentioned in the session.... does NOT necessary mean she's a nutjob and you are now going to be exposed.

Screening is what these ladies do prior to a session, and if you've given her some sort of info that allowed her to find your real life info, then you can be fairly certain that she is aware of who you really are. This doesn't mean that she is going to do anything with that info, and even that it was mentioned doesn't mean that she is going to do anything with that info.

My intention with my initial post was to make clients aware that providers DO google the info they are given, and if that info goes to your real life info you might want to reconsider the info you are using.... because one day you might run into a provider who blasts your private information all over the internet because she feels you slighted her in some way.

I am NOT saying that is going to happen in this case, but I do want people to be aware that even a "nice guy" can end up on a Black List, so protect your private identity as much as possible.

Always,

Gina

Edited November 23, 2012 by The Oxymoron

[The Oxymoron]

Cause when I first restarted a few years back one of the social networking sites that mines peoples information and then hopes they end up getting you to join had me erroneously, let me repeat for clarity, ERRONEOUSLY tied to a law enforcement agency. More than one lady AND a verification service could have pulled up that erroneous info in 30 seconds with a google search, non-the-less I had no problem getting appointments AND membership in the verification service who appears to have only verified that my credit card was good.

We occasionally run into a situation where someone initially appears to have a link to LE (or other potential issue), but usually, with a little additional checking around it's fairly easy to figure out if that connection is legitimate and something to be concerned about. I can't speak to your situation in particular (I don't even know if you are referring to P411), but if we were aware of you being a legitimate client, a connection would not necessarily have precluded you from having a membership.

Always,

Gina

Edited November 23, 2012 by The Oxymoron

[Guest]

There is only as much information on the net that you put there.

Get a free email, get a prepaid cellphone. Use a fake name. Problem solved.

[2Big]

Some guys just wont get it into their thick skulls, will continue to think with their little mini-mes dangling between their legs, and will give out personal info to providers.

Trust me, 20 years from now, we'll still see monthly posts about this.

Giving out personal info to working girls is like writing your PIN number on the back of your bank card.

And as the dude above me said: get a prepaid cell, get a fake name, and you're good to go.

Then tell her: Go ahead, google "Johnny Longcock".

(which I just did, with surprising results)

[Wendy Whitney]

A good number (20%) of providers are completely nuts, and I think that percentage gets higher as you climb the rate scale. So the more she charges, the more likely she is bonkers.

There a whack jobs out there at every price level