Posted October 31, 2012 What are they regarding cheating? If you're dating a provider is it cheating to see a different provider? 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted October 31, 2012 Of course it is cheating unless they are both paid arrangements then it is just business. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted October 31, 2012 I have no idea. That would pretty much be between you and her, wouldn't it? 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted October 31, 2012 Depends on your definition of dating. Dating as in paid sessions? It's all good, providers and references are here for variety. Traditional definition of dating? Ask your girlfriend she will clarify for you. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted October 31, 2012 What are they regarding cheating? If you're dating a provider is it cheating to see a different provider? Is it "dating" and if so who is saying that? Is it you or you and her? Is she "dating" anyone else? If the dating relationship is in your mind and you chose not to cheat, that's cool, but I wouldn't expect reciprocation. In fact, that sounds like a dangerous road to travel. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted October 31, 2012 I have no idea. That would pretty much be between you and her, wouldn't it? I agree, it's only cheating if you do something the two of you agreed you wouldn't. the only exception is if she thinks it's cheating, then it's cheating. I'm old enough to know if she is always right you will have more sex. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted October 31, 2012 I agree, it's only cheating if you do something the two of you agreed you wouldn't. the only exception is if she thinks it's cheating, then it's cheating. I'm old enough to know if she is always right you will have more sex. You're a fast learner. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted October 31, 2012 I love you Boinky....I wish you were running for Pres. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted October 31, 2012 Ask her, not us. If you can't ask her then there's your answer. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted October 31, 2012 more of a rhetorical question. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted October 31, 2012 What are they regarding cheating? If you're dating a provider is it cheating to see a different provider? If she is a provider, she is having sex with lots of other guys. I doubt this will be a major issue with her . . . unless she is a complete psycho. But if you see them both at the same time you have all your bases covered because that definitely would not be "cheating." 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted October 31, 2012 If you are actually dating and consider each other boyfriend and girlfriend then it is cheating. Even if you pay for it. Relationships require communication and the predetermining of boundaries. An escort is still a woman and if you are dating one they still deserve to be treated like any other girlfriend. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted October 31, 2012 For me it's all about communication and being honest. Talk is key. I have always said, from day one, that if I were dating someone who really cared about me and he asked me to quit....or I fell in love, that I would quit this in a heartbeat. Love trumps this job any day of the week for me. I tell everyone that I date what I do(very early on). Believe me, that isn't always easy. And sometimes it hurts me to tell them because I know I am risking loosing someone that I really care about. I hope they understand and respect my honesty. I never lie about it. I like to be honest and open. I also keep my real job for this very reason. I recently told someone, that I really, really care about. Again, not easy, but I feel I did the right thing if I want to have a healthy relationship and have him trust me 100%. So, I suppose if you are honest and tell her that you would like to see providers, then it would not be cheating. But if you have to sneak around, then it's cheating IMO. Why don't you ask Pfunk...He can give you the best prospective IMO. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted October 31, 2012 I agree, it's only cheating if you do something the two of you agreed you wouldn't. the only exception is if she thinks it's cheating, then it's cheating. I'm old enough to know if she is always right you will have more sex. You are so smart! If both parties aren't knowledgeable of the entire situation, then yes, it is cheating. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted October 31, 2012 I agree, it's only cheating if you do something the two of you agreed you wouldn't. the only exception is if she thinks it's cheating, then it's cheating. I'm old enough to know if she is always right you will have more sex. True enough! 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted October 31, 2012 If you are actually dating and consider each other boyfriend and girlfriend then it is cheating. Even if you pay for it. Relationships require communication and the predetermining of boundaries. An escort is still a woman and if you are dating one they still deserve to be treated like any other girlfriend. OK, but if she is still screwing other guys for money (and I understand that is her chosen line of work which makes this situation a bit unique) and that isn't cheating, how is it cheating if HE pays another lady for sex? Isn't that more than a little hypocritical? In this situation, it would seem paid sex could not constitute cheating... That said, since she is a provider I would suggest asking her opinion on this. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted October 31, 2012 "Cheating" is a term your partner gets to define, for you. It's also a term you get to define, for her. Nobody else gets a vote either way (except in the case of complicated multi-partner relationships of the kind I enjoy finding myself in, but the same principle always applies). 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted October 31, 2012 As has been stated over and over again - it is cheating unless she has been told about and has approved of his visits to other providers. He knows and has accepted she is a provider and therefore sees and has sex with other men. If she is unaware and/or has not accepted his outside the primary relationship sex - then yes he is cheating. I did not say it was fair, it is just my opinion. DBL out 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted October 31, 2012 HUGE question I get often!!! In the sex biz, sex is sex... EMOTIONS are what is cheating. Porn has the longest most stable marriages in my opinion because you take out the - CAll of The Wild- cheating factor. Men cheat everyday and are forgiven because its like blowing their nose. They are going to do it.. publicly or privately. But when women cheat 80% of the time, it starts with an EMOTIONAL affair. I've heard it before: When a man cheats... its forgivable. When a woman cheats.. its because the relationship is DONE and past repair. Everyone goes to "work" has sex and comes home to each other. Cheating was going out to coffee or a movie. You would NEVER ask out a married performer for drinks. To get emotionally involved outside your relationship is an amateur move. When people attach outside of sex.. its like the WWE smackdown.No one in the biz will take your-dating-serious as your seen as weak.. a loose cannon. Escorting? If an Escort starts getting emotionally ENVOLVED with clients.. its the beginning of the end of HER job... wether a guy plays "Captain Save a Hoe" then dumps her ass after she puts on 5 lbs... or she ruins a marriage. Same with escorting. Sex is sex.. the REST is cheating. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted October 31, 2012 great post Angela - took the words right out of my mouth i would have thought everybody figured it out by now that, while having sex outside of marriage says something about a couple's relationship for sure - and true polyandry/polygamy aside - actual 'cheating' takes place in the heart and in the mind. because that's how i pretty much define 'relationship'? sex alone doesn't equate to a relationship also reminds me of steve martin's bit in 'the jerk': do you think you could think about me when you're having sex with all those other guys, or think about them when you're having sex with me? 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted October 31, 2012 I agree, it's only cheating if you do something the two of you agreed you wouldn't. the only exception is if she thinks it's cheating, then it's cheating. I'm old enough to know if she is always right you will have more sex. haha this is very true! can u pls tell my bf he may or may not understand the subleties here ;-) 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted October 31, 2012 As has been stated over and over again - it is cheating unless she has been told about and has approved of his visits to other providers. He knows and has accepted she is a provider and therefore sees and has sex with other men. If she is unaware and/or has not accepted his outside the primary relationship sex - then yes he is cheating. I did not say it was fair, it is just my opinion. DBL out Hear hear my pussy is so wet! I wish u were my bf lol 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted October 31, 2012 OK, but if she is still screwing other guys for money (and I understand that is her chosen line of work which makes this situation a bit unique) and that isn't cheating, how is it cheating if HE pays another lady for sex? Isn't that more than a little hypocritical? I guess only in a perfect world. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted November 1, 2012 I guess that means I am single either that or I am an idiot. Seeking captain for the SS Bethanie. Capt. save a hoe need not apply 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted November 1, 2012 OK, but if she is still screwing other guys for money (and I understand that is her chosen line of work which makes this situation a bit unique) and that isn't cheating, how is it cheating if HE pays another lady for sex? Isn't that more than a little hypocritical? In this situation, it would seem paid sex could not constitute cheating... That said, since she is a provider I would suggest asking her opinion on this. I guess I really fail to see the hypocrisy. Is it really fair that one person is having more sex than the other? Probably not but if it's something that bothers you then dating escorts would not be for you. What really bothers me is the idea that people have that dating an escort gives you the privilege to see other escorts simply because it's "fair" and if she is doing it why can't I? I call bullshit. The big difference at the end of the day is the ability to choose. As an escort your ability to choose is greatly limited. We can of course deny service but we only have the option to choose among the men that want to see us. If this all about fairness and equality is it really fair that a guy dating a provider can go see women he is attracted to while his escort girlfriend has to deal with bad attitudes, bad hygiene, the socially awkward and not so great lovers? There really is nothing about this situation that's fair, it's unknown territory, a new set of problems and totally different emotions. What I will never buy into though are any preconceived notions or expectations when entering into a relationship. A relationship is built and boundaries determined by two people and a person's job should never dictate what is acceptable in a relationship. I think there are a lot of people that assume that because you are a working girl that you must be sexually satisfied. That it's all muscled hunks giving us screaming orgasm after screaming orgasm when that's really not even close to the reality. I believe that a lot of guys who have dated escorts have been disillusioned by this thought. Sure sex is fun but it is immensely more satisfying when it comes from someone you love and there is real emotion behind it. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted November 1, 2012 I guess I really fail to see the hypocrisy. Is it really fair that one person is having more sex than the other? Probably not but if it's something that bothers you then dating escorts would not be for you. What really bothers me is the idea that people have that dating an escort gives you the privilege to see other escorts simply because it's "fair" and if she is doing it why can't I? I call bullshit. ... Sure sex is fun but it is immensely more satisfying when it comes from someone you love and there is real emotion behind it. Either sex is just sex, for both parties, or it's not. No bullshit involved. IMHO if one party in the arrangement gets to have NSA sex, then the other ought to be allowed the same privilige. It doesn't really matter if one of them gets paid for that NSA time. Now having an affair or romance relationship? That's a different issue. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted November 1, 2012 Either sex is just sex, for both parties, or it's not. No bullshit involved. IMHO if one party in the arrangement gets to have NSA sex, then the other ought to be allowed the same privilige. It doesn't really matter if one of them gets paid for that NSA time. Now having an affair or romance relationship? That's a different issue. But it's not recreational fucking and it's really not as simple as an NSA thing and it does matter whether or not one is getting paid. How about the difference in being able to choose? If you want to continue with the ideology that because one gets to do it the other should, then maybe the guy involved should only be allowed to have sex with someone if they are getting paid for it too and do it without discrimination. Strike me down for being the honest provider but if I really was in this for fun I wouldn't charge but I do charge because bills need to get paid. If it were a matter of just promiscuity then this is a different argument but it's not. This is a matter of someone saying that because of how I have to support myself (and no it's really not always a choice and it's not really easy yo just get out of either) dictates what my potential partners get to do. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted November 1, 2012 The big difference at the end of the day is the ability to choose. As an escort your ability to choose is greatly limited. We can of course deny service but we only have the option to choose among the men that want to see us. If this all about fairness and equality is it really fair that a guy dating a provider can go see women he is attracted to while his escort girlfriend has to deal with bad attitudes, bad hygiene, the socially awkward and not so great lovers? With the above qoute in mind, the guy can post an ISO thread and see the first provider who replys. he will have no ability to choose thus solving your problem. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted November 2, 2012 With the above qoute in mind, the guy can post an ISO thread and see the first provider who replys. he will have no ability to choose thus solving your problem. LOL! I think it's a fair compromise. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted November 2, 2012 But it's not recreational fucking and it's really not as simple as an NSA thing and it does matter whether or not one is getting paid. How about the difference in being able to choose? If you want to continue with the ideology that because one gets to do it the other should, then maybe the guy involved should only be allowed to have sex with someone if they are getting paid for it too and do it without discrimination. Strike me down for being the honest provider but if I really was in this for fun I wouldn't charge but I do charge because bills need to get paid. If it were a matter of just promiscuity then this is a different argument but it's not. This is a matter of someone saying that because of how I have to support myself (and no it's really not always a choice and it's not really easy yo just get out of either) dictates what my potential partners get to do. With the above qoute in mind, the guy can post an ISO thread and see the first provider who replys. he will have no ability to choose thus solving your problem. So, Since boink took care of "his" ability to choose, would it also be fair if every time "she" saw someone "she" was physically attracted to, was a good lover, had good hygiene and a good attitude and was overall fun then "he" would be able to choose a girl of his choice for an hour? I can be honest and say not everyone is awesome and dreamy, but there have definitely been times I've seen people who are completely my "type" and have had a blast with. it happens, and it doesn't seem fair to me that "she" gets to have a total BLAST every once in a while just because "she" gets paid and it's luck of the draw... I also think Angela is right on the money. I may have said this before, but I've made deals with past relationships (while I've worked and while I haven't) that if he needs a little of the strange, or something I can't/wont do, then I would be more than happy to help him choose an ASP, even help with screening, and even pay for it if i had to. I would much prefer my man (when I have one) to be fully satisfied and never want/need to go to a bar skank where I would have to worry far more about disease and emotion getting involved. But, to the op, it really depends on the relationship and what both partners determine is fair. Obviously that varies greatly from woman to woman. Also, boink is totally right about you get laid more when she's always right, and while that isn't fair, it will always work out for you! 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
