Posted April 11, 2012 last year, the wife hired an escort for my b-day, for our first 3some. after the escort called w/ a last-minute cancellation, the wife and I had some fun time together in fancy downtown hotel. a friend is getting married this summer, and wife says she wants to stay home. I said, "i want you to come, but if you don't, I'm getting a date" she said "ok." i said, "wedding dates are for fucking", she said "ok" a particular young lady (about 25, i'm about 10 yrs older) of my acquaintance has somewhat struck my fancy. The sexual tension between us is palpable. on several occasions she's admitted the desire, but has declined on account of "i don't sleep w/ married men" despite my wifely permission to do so. she's agreed to come to the wedding (chicago) w/ me I think i'm in like flint, but any suggestions on how to seal the deal? 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted April 11, 2012 last year, the wife hired an escort for my b-day, for our first 3some. after the escort called w/ a last-minute cancellation, the wife and I had some fun time together in fancy downtown hotel. a friend is getting married this summer, and wife says she wants to stay home. I said, "i want you to come, but if you don't, I'm getting a date" she said "ok." i said, "wedding dates are for fucking", she said "ok" a particular young lady (about 25, i'm about 10 yrs older) of my acquaintance has somewhat struck my fancy. The sexual tension between us is palpable. on several occasions she's admitted the desire, but has declined on account of "i don't sleep w/ married men" despite my wifely permission to do so. she's agreed to come to the wedding (chicago) w/ me I think i'm in like flint, but any suggestions on how to seal the deal? you said she's a friend, right? don't seal the deal, walk away from it. keep it simple, hire a hooker. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted April 11, 2012 you said she's a friend, right? don't seal the deal, walk away from it. keep it simple, hire a hooker. I agree. If you seal the deal, things might become uncomfortable in the future and you may lose the friendship. Friends are forever - Escorts last as long as you want them to! 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted April 11, 2012 I agree with Whatda. It's complicated, sticky & best left to the professionals. Too many things can go wrong & you should never mix business with pleasure. You may have caught your wife off-guard when she agreed. Women have a way of saying "ok" that means everything BUT "ok". Any transgressions will be saved and used against you in the future, it's best to have a no show, no tell policy. Your friend told you she does not sleep with married men. If you seduce her she may end your friendship, you have no idea what the after-effects would/will be. She could feel guilty or tell your wife or just change her opinion about you. It WILL change your frienship. Go back to plan A and have that 3-some. If you can, make it the wifes idea. Maybe a birthday or other occasion coming up? Once you've established where you stand with the wife and another woman in a "no strings" situation then proceed albeit cautiously from there.. Sometimes having sexual tension & not doing anything about it is a good thing. Just because you can "tap that" doesn't mean you should. Tell your friend you respect her decision & tell the wife she needs to come or find a way to stay home with her. Just imho. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted April 11, 2012 Damn.....there's some pretty legit advice here, like "Dear Abby". You should probably listen, they seem to be making a lot of sense. I guess if I ever thought things through this well, I'd have never ended up here on TOB....(and beyond). 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted April 11, 2012 a particular young lady (about 25, i'm about 10 yrs older) of my acquaintance has somewhat struck my fancy. The sexual tension between us is palpable. You gettin' a hard on while brushing up against her in the elevator doesn't qualify as "palpable" sexual tension between the two of you. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted April 11, 2012 (edited) I say go far it. GO FOR IT, Make sure to tip her well. Buy her the most expensive dress shoes, jewerly out there. Make her the envy of all the other women there. Don't worry about the family (WIFE) they will be just FINE. Cheers Lilithia Edited April 11, 2012 by lilithia spelling 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted April 11, 2012 I like to be seduced by men with many leather bound books. In apartments that smell of rich mahogany. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted April 11, 2012 oh yes the Key word RICH. From the number of ladies who have come and gone and are still here don't seem likely. Lilithia 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted April 11, 2012 I like to be seduced by men with many leather bound books. In apartments that smell of rich mahogany. Sex Panther usually does the trick for me. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted April 11, 2012 I say go far it. GO FOR IT, Make sure to tip her well. Buy her the most expensive dress shoes, jewerly out there. Make her the envy of all the other women there. Don't worry about the family (WIFE) they will be just FINE. Cheers Lilithia Surely you have your tounge in your cheek as you cant really mean what you told this guy, can you> 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted April 12, 2012 Yes, I meant every word I said . Why do you find my opinion disturbing? I don't believe I have a misunderstanding why we all are here. To advise anything other would be hypocritical. Why not her but a hooker will do, like we can't get attached we don't have feelings. GO for it Hooker or other wise. Lilithia 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted April 12, 2012 Sex Panther usually does the trick for me. It smells like Big Foots dick! 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted April 12, 2012 Yes, I meant every word I said . Why do you find my opinion disturbing? I don't believe I have a misunderstanding why we all are here. To advise anything other would be hypocritical. Why not her but a hooker will do, like we can't get attached we don't have feelings. GO for it Hooker or other wise. Lilithia Didnt say it was disturbing. I just find it hard to understand why you want him to spend all that money on a "FRIEND" when he could pay for a very nice escort and leave the friend alone and come out more economical in the long run. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted April 12, 2012 I agree. If you seal the deal, things might become uncomfortable in the future and you may lose the friendship. Friends are forever - Escorts last as long as you want them to! +1 Sometimes women later regret being so flexible too. In the long run, it may help her knowing it was just a "date".The girl will not be stalking her husband or any other tension amongst all of you. JMO 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted April 12, 2012 I don't care who he ends up with. Hooker, friend whatever term you want to use is fine by me. All I know is this friends with benefits don't work for me. They have too be doing something for me like paying half the bills buying me jewerly something. No such thing Friends and SEX Lilithia 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted April 12, 2012 Okay, having being in a similar situation, don't do it. You are going to hurt the poor girls heart. She has told you not with married men, and she may have feelings for you, but you would be using her and playing with her emotions. It does not matter what your wife said. I have been in exactly the same situation (as she is) and never again. She probably is attracted to you, please don't take advantage of that as I can guarantee that it is not purely sexual. Just not cool and you WILL hurt her heart. Cough up the cash and find a lady that is not emotionally attached to you, as I seriously doubt she does not have a piece of her heart invested in some way, even if to you it is just sex. JMHO 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted April 12, 2012 Why would you want to seduce someone who has already turned you down? If you have the permission from the wife and the palpable tension then why is she turning you down? My guess would be she is a little uninterested. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted April 12, 2012 but that's exactly my point, its NOT just sex to me. The reason I hobby in the first place is b/c I want/need some kind of connection with someone, if only for a little while (and Yes, I connect with my wife - but I find monogamy to be unreasonable, illogical, puritan and counter-productive. People are capable of connecting many times, with many different people, on many levels. It is tragic that so many go through life confining themselves to ONE connection. Additionally, I find that I'm often more loving to my wife, more considerate, and that we connect better after my occasional dalliance.) perhaps it was my mistake of asking such an inherently anti-escort question here...never thought the prude patrol would show up. There is a lot to be said for being with a woman that WANTS to be with you, out of desire for YOU, not desire for a new flat-screen TV. hobbying is not just about sex, i could stay at home and take care of all my sexual needs quite nicely by myself. It's about meeting someone and getting sweaty WITH THEM for awhile. If an ASP is good at her job, she can help me pretend that she's not a businesswoman, just there for business. I lie to myself "maybe that little moan or smile is b/c of me (not b/c of ben franklin)." but a $10,000/hr escort all night long is no comparison to a GENUINE connection, even if brief. I would not be interested in my friend if she (and I) didn't have some piece of our hearts in it. The last thing I want to do is hurt her, but the only way that would happen is if my marriage got ruined b/c of it. (btw, im pretty sure she has NO problem with my marriage being ruined, she just doesn't want to be the cause). I know that she wants to be with me, she just doesn't understand that "it's okay", and so is reluctant to follow through. I'm sure I could just steamroll over her resistance, and make this happen; I just wanted some suggestions on how to get her to come to me. what we HAVE is highly-charged sexual tension (i.e. hardons in cramped elevators). perhaps that will change if we follow through, I only know that its not rules made to be broken, its sexual tension. i'll probably do it; it sounds like fun and contrariwise there's the potential for self-destruction there. I have a penchant for self-destructive behavior. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted April 12, 2012 The prude patrol!!!! Not me I said GO FOR IT Have a banging good time. When did TOB become Match.com Lilithia 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted April 12, 2012 I just wanted some suggestions on how to get her to come to me. Why didn't you say so in the first place? It looks and sounds as if you are walking the fence on whether you should or not & that's what I responded to. Instead of all that bs about the wife, etc., you could have just said "hey there's a hot younger chick at work..."but then why would you do that on a escort board? If you want her to come to you that's easy. Tell her you're unsatisfied in your marriage but stuck at the moment. Give her an idea that you might leave your wife, that you have feelings for her you can't ignore or stop. Sure it's sleazy but if all your trying to do is get a fwb situation there you go. (ick-I feel like I need a shower now.) I still think you should set up an appointment with a pro, that way you won't have to worry or wonder. It's a sure thing & ends without any complications. Isn't it a hoot when people ask for opinions then when you give them yours if it's not what they want to hear they then want to argue or label your response? i'll probably do it; it sounds like fun and contrariwise there's the potential for self-destruction there. I have a penchant for self-destructive behavior. It's not just you though, you're toying with a woman who says she doesn't want to sleep with married men. Your "fun" could be her "serious as a heart attack..". 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted April 12, 2012 LOL I guess I am the prude patrol haha. Since this is probably the only time in my life I will hear that term applied to me I'm cool with it! On another note, I have genuine connections with my regular clients, but that's a whole other thread. What the girl said about not wanting to sleep with married men was part of the reason for my comment above. But hey, go ahead.....it won't keep me awake at night Have fun 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted April 12, 2012 Simple Don't fuck your friends wife, Don't fuck your wifes's friend 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted April 13, 2012 A couple of observations..... 1) for the VERY first time, there is a LOT of TERRIFIC advise being thrown around on ToB 2) If this is what you want to do, then DO IT. If you are going to Chicago and she tags along, pay for adjoining hotel rooms. Leave your side of the door open, tell her she is welcome to cross the threshold (both literally and figuratively), then you both will know. If she takes advantage of the "open door policy", then you know where you stand. If she doesn't, you STILL know where yo stand. Of course, on the way up to the rooms you need to let her know, albeit subtly, that you would welcome her company. Good luck and let us know how it goes! 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted April 13, 2012 I think i'm in like flint, but any suggestions on how to seal the deal? Offer her $1000. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted April 13, 2012 The prude patrol!!!! Not me I said GO FOR IT Have a banging good time. When did TOB become Match.com Lilithia I'm assuming the accommodating spouse has got, at a minimum, a cabana boy lined up for her weekend. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted April 13, 2012 I think she probably has a lawyer lined up. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
