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Yeah, Mister. I'm probably talking about you. A typical ad viewing session by the BEMs who walk among us, after a long day of shovelling shit at the manure factory: <fap fap fap fap fap> "oooooh geeze look suzy's got new tit pics up!" <fap fap fap fap fap> "ooooh geeze look at her ass!" <fap fap fap fap fap> "oooh look shes got a 250 special up!" <goes through wife's purse and finds 220....adds ten crumpled ones from his own pocket> "YES!" <BEEP BEEP BOOP BEEP BOOP BOOP BEEP BOOP BOOP BEEP> {editors note: what follows could just as easily occur via text or email} Suzy: <best slightly breathy and sexy yet professional voice> "Hello!" BEM: <fap fap fap fap fap> "Hey" Suzy: "May I help you?" BEM: <fap fap fap fap fap> "Yeah! You busy tonight?" Suzy: "I might have an opening" <giggles> "What time were you interested in?" BEM: <fapfapfapfapfapfapfap> "Do you do blowjobs? I really want a blowjob! No Condom!" Suzy: <facepalm....but continues on doggedly> "What time were you wanting? And do you have references?" BEM: <fap fap fap fap fap> "Yeah, I got references." Suzy: <idly doodling with her free hand...it's a stick man> "Can you give me their names and contact info? And what time were you interested in? BEM: <fap fap fap fap fap> "Saw her on Back page last year. Ivanna something. Whats your address? I could probaby be there in 15 minutes!!" <FAPFAPFAPFAPFAPFAP> Suzy: <draws a large knife in the head of the stickman> Gentlemen, lets review a typical ad. Together. Pick one. I know that you want to linger on those boobs, legs, and asses that appear at the top of the ad. But, there's more! Really! If you look down below the pictures, you will see a bunch of funny-looking marks. These marks are called "WRITING." Writing was invented by the human race so that we could convey thoughts and ideas, and leave them in a permanent place, for other human beings to understand them. YES!!! It's true! All those funny looking marks? That lady is actually trying to tell you something about herself. You may like what she has to say! You may not! You should stay away from the ladies who write things you don't like. This is called "being a wise consumer." Look further into her "writing." There you will find something called "instructions." Instructions are a secret code that the lady has placed into her ad. On purpose! This secret code, when followed carefully, will actually result in your meeting with the same lady in the pictures. You will probably even be able to place your peepee.....your very own real live weiner!.....into her mouth or vagina. And she will SMILE! Seriously! Dude.....it's happened to me! All you have to do is look at her "instructions" and learn how to follow them! It's like a treasure hunt! Give it a try! Now, we have seen a lot of guys post stuff about liking ladies, and maybe the ladies liking them (or not) back. Some have complained about having to "please" a lady. Others complain about not being able to "please" a lady. Dudes! Seriously! Look at what the lady likes. Remember? It is in those funny marks beneath the pictures of her tits. Yeah! The writing! Other guys have written stuff about the lady, too! But here's where it gets hard. This is why ordinary looking guys like me have wonderful hot, sexy, sessions time and time again, while you are still hung up on whether or not she should like her, or bother to try and make her cum. I think. I have a doctorate in thinkology. So when I read what a lady has written about herself, or others have written about her, I put it all together AND I THINK ABOUT IT! YES! Thinking about the stuff in all this writing BEFORE I call a lady actually gives me better, hotter, and more frequent sex than most of the poor, dumb, sons-o-bitches that seem to stumble around this place like drooling zombies! For example, I LIKE trying to make ladies cum. Whether or not I am good at it is a secret the ladies will take to their graves. So, I read. When a lady starts an entire thread about how she didn't get to cum because the guy popped in a BJ.....this lady is using "writing" to convey an idea. I think about it. This lady likes to cum. I like to make ladies cum. This might be a good lady to call. If you don't like making ladies cum and just want to bust a nut, this would be a bad lady to see. See how thinking works? Another example. I prefer to have sex with ladies I like. It really helps if I think they like me, too. So, I read. If a lady uses "writing" to convey the idea that she likes to form "connections," I think about it. She would be a good lady to see. If you don't like the idea of a provider showing real or feigned attraction for you, or will obsess over whether it IS real or feigned, this would be a bad lady to see. See how thinking works? Reading. Thinking. All you booger-eating morons should give it a try once in a while.