The Wise Old Owl

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Everything posted by The Wise Old Owl

  1. Excitement at Shotgun Willie’s last night

    This reminds me why I don't go to strip clubs anymore. I want to see pretty women and entertaining dancing. Not violence and bloodshed. If I wanted those things, I'd go to a motorcycle club's bar...
  2. What's the oddest place you've done it???

    Careful in publishing names or photos of military personnel, while that person is in the USAF, or still alive, could get them subject to UCMJ discipline.
  3. Stormy Daniels

    Here's why here's why I don't understand Democrats. One Democratic president gets his d*ck sucked in the Oval Office, and they blame the non-professional woman that did it. They vilify her in the press and personally and call the president of victim of her predatory behavior. One future president who ran as a Republican, had his d*ck sucked by a professional, when he was not in the Oval Office, and they blamed that future, and now, president for the event. They vilify him in the press and personally, and call the woman a victim of his predatory behavior. Is this a double standard, or what? The Wise Old Owl Sorry. No sex. We're British.
  4. Making Love vs. Sex

    Sex without love can be satisfying but empty. Love without sex can be fufilling but not satisfying. Sex with love is both satisfying and fufilling. Love with sex, is both lasting and meaningfull. Love is not sex. Sex is not love. Love and sex can exist seperately. Together, love and sex are inseperable. The Wise Old Owl I'm too sexy for my pants. I just forgot where I left them... (My teeth too. Can't find them anywhere)
  5. No Shave November - Are You Doing It

    I participate in No Shave November. And No Shave December. And No Shave January, February, March, April, Etc. I just don't shave. Trim? Yes! I prefer the same on my women. If you shave it off, shave it all off. If you trim it, trim it close. My bushy beard never gets more than a half an inch long. Your bearded Bush should be the same. The Wise Old Owl Just as nobody likes a board, except surfers. Nobody likes an untrimmed bush, Except a squirrel. (I already flossed my teeth, today.)
  6. Today’s burning question- Do cats fart?

    Cats do fart. Then they blame it on the dog. They also pee on your shoes, scratch the couch, eat what you left on the counter, and get hair on your favorite sweater. They blame all of that on the dog too. Cats are smart. They know you'll believe them. The dog looks guilty. All the time. Even if they didn't do it. Cats are evil. Cats are manipulative. Cats are good at putting the blame on other people or pets. Cats never tell the truth. They always lie; on the couch,on the bed, on the rug, on your clothes. They lie everywhere. Damn cats!
  7. Providers asking for deposit

    When I rent a Uhaul truck, I leave a deposit so they know I'll return it in the condition I left with it. The U-Haul truck doesn't tell me how fast or slow I can go. It doesn't tell me to turn left or right, or scold me when I don't turn in the direction it likes. The U-Haul truck doesn't tell me when to go forward or back up. The U-Haul truck has a time limit on it but I usually have it for an entire day. As long as I pay for it, the truck is mine to use as I please. It doesn't object when I want to go somewhere for a while and then come back. The U-Haul truck might know my name and where I live but after I've returned it, it doesn't retain that information. The U-Haul truck doesn't care if I'm young or old, tall or short, skinny or fat, or the size of my... hands. I can rent the size of the U-Haul truck I want and I know the price going in, it doesn't charge me more as we drive along. When I'm done using the U-Haul truck, I drive it back where it was, turn it in and never worry about it trying to retaliate against me if I write a bad review about the experience. If escorts for more like U-Haul trucks, there would be less bad reviews and better experiences. The Wise Old Owl I still know how, And where to drive. It just takes me longer to get there. (I've got the map. I just can't read it anymore.)
  8. The Trials of a Newbie - Chapter 2

    Orca? Sorry, No.
  9. Fwb

    Men use women. Mostly for sex. Women use men. Mostly for money. Marriage is a legal reason to use each other. For whatever you can get. You pay in the beginning. You pay during. You pay in the end. You pay no matter what. You're better off renting the cow, To get the milk, rather than buying it. Beside, new, fresh milk, Is better than old spoiled milk. The Wise Old Owl Milking cows For more than half a century. (Hell! Where's my bucket!)

    NYPD Detective John McClain might disagree with you. Ho ho ho!
  11. Myth vs. Reality

    Men: The only d*ck that matters is the one I got. The only p*ssy that matters is the one I can get. Women: The only p*ssy that matters is mine. The only dick that matters is the one attached to my man. Women Escorts: The only p*ssy that matters is mine, or the one I can get.The only d*ck that matters is the one that pays. And the one that pays the most, matters most. Sorry. The cruel harsh reality is money makes the world go 'round. Love is a cash only business. The Wise Old Owl I've got the money, Honey, If you have the time! (Let me check my wallet...)

    Die Hard is not a Christmas Movie!
  13. Now They're Coming for Victoria's Secret

    Some men like Victoria's Secret models (some women too). Some men like Lane Bryant models (some women too). Some men like both (some women too). Some men like men in Playgirl (some women too). Some men like women in Playboy (some women too). Everyone likes different things. While I understand your likes and dislikes, don't tell me mine are wrong. To each his, or her, own. Variety is the spice of life. The Wise Old Owl I can take a lickin', And keep on tickin'. (Just don't wind me too tight)
  14. Strippers make lousy escorts.

    I must agee. However, most escorts, if so inclined, make great strippers. They know how to please, and you can meet them later for...ahem, relief.
  15. Fall Fun - Halloween Horror - Who likes Scary Movies?

    Today's horror movies just suck. Give me "The Wolfman", classic "Frankenstein", "The Mummy", or anything with Lon Chaney or Bela Lugosi. Please. BTW: Mel Brooks' classic comedy movie, "Young Frankenstein" is hilarious. Too bad they don't make that kind of film anymore.
  16. I miss you my favorite ASP.

    I won't mention them by name here, but two of my favorites are gone now. One retired and moved away later, the other one retired and then passed away. Funny thing is, I became friends with both and saw them non professionally afterwards. I miss them both terribly. The Wise Old Owl Old friends never die, They just fade from memory.
  17. Effects of recent legislation

    With the demise of BP, I lost my contact with one of my favorite ASP's. Thank Heavens, she is now on TOB. But since the new legislation also caused the demise of TOB's detailed reviews, finding someone new based on limited reviews and pictures alone is frustrating. Since I left the Pepsi generation and joined the Geritol set, finding patient and kind ASP's who know just because there's snow on the roof doesn't mean the furnace is out. The engine still gets revved up, but it takes longer to get the car out of park. The train can still make it into the tunnel, but it's a commuter train now, not an express. I prefer older, more zaftig women to skinny young things (sorry, no offense ladies) and my funds are somewhat limited after the social security check gets spent. The ladies at the home don't float my boat, and the nurses don't give us old guys personal attention. Any suggestions, guys and gals, as how to navigate these uncharted waters? Thanks in advance. The Wise Old Owl I'm old, not dead...yet
  18. Hot hot

    Nipply weather down there?
  19. Stormy Daniels

    I'm sorry but wouldn't touch that with yours and certainly not with mine. Think of where it's been. Donny, you're a braver man than me!
  20. Never let a woman with a sharp object near your private parts. Beware of Lorena Bobbitt wannabes! Shave and haircut, Two bits. The Wise Old Owl Bald all over, by choice.
  21. Who Watches LivePD

    LivePD is awesome. Can't beat truth in action with no editing. COPS it's not...
  22. New Kids on the Block....

    OKOTB? Old Kids on the Block?
  23. Go Cubs Go!

    Lucy, Didn't know you were a Cubs fan. It's nice to know somebody out there appreciates my Cubbies! Cubs Win! Cubs Win! Cubs Win! The Wise Old Owl I've seen the Cubs win the World Series. Now I can die a happy man...
  24. The best Italian food!!

    I went to an Italian restaurant for lunch today. The waitress was hot, dark hair flowing to her shoulders, ruby lips, tan complextion, a full bosom, cute tush, great legs, and a personality that wouldn't quit. I was looking forward to my meal with great anticipation. Unfortunately, my linguine was cold and limp...and my food wasn't much better. Alas, another fantasy ruined by flaccid pasta... The Wise Old Owl A another fine day, Ruined by a wet noodle "Are we on The Food Network again?"
  25. Spaghetti in the Style of A Prostitute

    I thought this was "The Other Board" not "The Food Network". Am I on the wrong webpage? The Wise Old Owl Excuse me while I take my teeth out...