OP, that's the risk we run. Just when we think we are heading out for a thrilling and well deserved knee trembler and a touch of comfort, life smacks us in the kisser...
It's a normal reaction to rush into the arms of a welcoming stranger in times of war and uncertainty, or so the movies tell us. Instead, you ran smack into a real human being and rediscovered the hole in your soul, were reminded of the universality of real human suffering and our universal desire for a moment of peace and stability. Heavy shit.
I don't know what I'd do in your shoes. I remember a time when condoms were a rarity among old and new bedfellows, and you both benefited from the romantic joining. I don't believe you deserve any derision for expressing your feelings here, but I've learned that some friends are often quick to cry foul and take offense at what they believe to be a judgemental attack on their own private, personal experience, and they're right, if you were judging them. But I believe that you yourself are only working through this recent experience in public on a forum where you thought others might understand and perhaps might offer insight and/or benefit from your process. That makes sense and is honorable. I also realize that for some, you discuss their chosen profession which they consider to be honorable and not dysfunctional for them. Coincidentally, I agree with them.
OP, you are on to something of value here for you, and perhaps your new friend that deserves further time and exploration if you are to grow as a human being. The warnings given here are valid so take heed and walk with trepidation.
In spite of the negativity of the give and take of emotional territorialism displayed here, I feel the support shared by members to be generous and we'll meant. Also I appreciate your point of view , as well as that which has been shared by most others who contributed. I am again astounded and humbled to return here to learn from and share with the other unique 'misfits' who gather here as we have done so for so many years. Stay healthy in mind and body, dear people.